| | Bush indicates France may be next
22 Apr 2003 by Charles Huschle
President Bush went before the United Nations General Assembly today to press his case for tougher sanctions against France. Bush cited continued defiance by President Chirac, and indicated that American military forces would "take up the slack" created by a "deadbeat" United Nations. An excerpt from his speech follows:
"The government of France continues to irritate the people of the world, and its behaviour will not be tolerated. The United States demands that economic sanctions be put into place so that exports of chevre be limited; in addition, we will no longer tolerate topless beaches and we require that France import tank bathing suits and skirted one-piece suits for the entire adult – female - population. Existentialism will no longer be taught in American schools. The word 'moi' will be expunged from popular vocabulary. Finally, the French people will be required to make English the first language in their country. When it is a question of American security, indeed, world security, we will take all actions necessary to preserve peace."
The UN Ambassadors from Germany, the UK, Guinea Bissau, and the new representative from Iraq - Dick "the Turk" Cheney - were loudest in their approval of the President's comments, while negative feedback in the form of several "boos" was registered from the New Guinean representative, who still, it is reported, practices nudism.
Meanwhile, American naval forces are said to be steaming towards Normandy for what has been described as "a short diversion" on their way back from duties in the Gulf.
Hey, look at this!
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