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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Donald Rumsfeld |
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| You are disappointed to see: Home > News | 11th February |
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| Witty satirical article actually makes a difference 26 Apr 2003 by Andrew Doe A British writer told of his shock yesterday after a satirical article he wrote actually influenced something. "I went into this business for personal reasons," he said, "I wanted to make people laugh as defence against my pitiful lack of self esteem. I didn't want to change the world". Jason Entwistle, 26, from Derbyshire, continued: "It wasn't supposed to be like this. Political satire was supposed to be about pointing out mild hypocrisy in an aloof and rhetorical manner. I never meant it to end up like this." Entwhistle's article, "Why I love war", was surprise hit, and within an hour of it being posted on the Internet, his website had received more than a billion zillion hits. Among those who read it were Tony Blair and George W. Bush. "It was a revelation," Bush told a press conference this morning, "With the help of wry British irony, I was able to see how crazy my greedy warmongering has been. His comical prose and poorly argued rhetoric helped me see a much simpler view of the situation in which war was 'just bad, that's all'. Now I'm quitting politics to dedicate my life to the CND". Tony Blair was similarly impressed, responding with a series of verb-less sentences that conveyed a vague peace related intent whilst remaining noncommittal on matters of actual policy. "Sustainable peace," he said. "Globalised non-destructive expansion.....the pursuance of freedom sound economic ideals." World peace broke out almost immediately, prompting the worst stock market crash since 1926, as bankers dumped their arms shares like hot cakes. British Aerospace shares briefly plummeted from a high of £3.24 to an all time low of 0.7 pence per share. Normality was restored after a retired shoe salesman from Penge accidentally bought the entire company with his pension whilst trying to open a national savings account without his glasses. Following a series of other blunders with his chequebook, Arthur Morris now controls 85% of the British weapons industry, and has a near complete monopoly on the manufacture of custard. As the only financial institution that didn't own arms shares, the Co-operative Bank emerged phoenix-like from the economic flames to create a new world order in which ethical investment rules the market. Financial analysts have predicted the worst recession since the collapse of the Roman Empire, but many companies feel that world peace will be good for consumer confidence. A spokesman for British American Tobacco said, "People don't only smoke during wars, so this isn't a problem for us. I can't see the Co-op investing in us, but since we own the World Bank, that shouldn't be much of a problem."
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