| | Blair tops poll of 100 worst Britons
11 May 2003
The Conservative "leader", Iain Duncan Smith, was today trying to hide his disappointment at not doing better in Channel 4's poll of the 100 worst Britons. The Prime Minister, Tony Blair, came top in the poll and one of Mr Duncan Smith's predecessors, Baroness Thatcher, came third after model Jordan. Mr Duncan Smith managed just 99th place, sandwiched "uncomfortably" between Craig David and Atomic Kitten.
Conservative Central Office has made no comment on the poll, but political commentators were only too happy to oblige. "That IDS managed to come 99th is a damning verdict on his leadership," wrote Douglas Ramsbottom in the Observer. "He is without doubt the most useless leader the Tories have ever had, and yet he still can't manage to win a poll of the worst Britons. That shows that both he and the Conservative Party are irrelevant in most people's views."
The Mail on Sunday was slightly kinder. "Mr Duncan Smith is far more useless than this poll suggests," wrote Gregory T Mullet. "It is a gross injustice that he has not come out higher up the poll, and points to a conspiracy between Channel 4, the public, the Labour Party and – of course – the BBC to keep his profile deliberately low. As ever, the Labour government is doing nothing to stop this."
Other political figures who came out above Mr Duncan Smith included the Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott; the former Conservative minister for salmonella, Edwina Currie; and the infamously annoying Neil and Christine Hamilton who, for some bizarre reason, were counted as one person after a scientific experiment went horribly wrong.
Tony Blair was, however, the undisputed and widely predicted winner of the poll. Labour spin-doctors, including Alistair Campbell (number 57) and Peter Mandelson (49), attempted to put a positive light on the results by initially arguing that Mr Blair was not actually British, but with little success.
Similar polls are to be carried out on the 100 worst Americans, where the result is expected to be almost unanimous, and on the 100 worst French people, where the result is expected to be a tie.
Look at this, moron.
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