| ||Bush to embark on next stage of world tour
29 May 2003
President Bush is to embark on the second stage of his world tour next week, performing to audiences in Jordan, France, Russia and Poland. The tour began in 2000 and has already seen Mr Bush perform in exotic locations around the world, including Washington, New York and Camp David.
The President's act was put together by such prolific writers as his official spokesman, Ari Fleischer, Seinfeld co-creator Larry David and Secretary of State Colin Powell. Even Mr Bush himself is said to have had a hand in creating the act, which consists of him talking to world leaders and the American public in an unconvincing and amusing manner, but none of his own words made the final edit.
After his gig at the G8 summit in Evian, France, Mr Bush will travel east to meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin where he is expected to have his drinks spiked with vodka and lose again at poker. The highlight of his tour will be in Jordan, however, where he will play to an invited audience of Israeli and Palestinian leaders.
"The Israelis and the Palestinians tend to be a tough crowd, especially when they're put together," said Mr Bush's tour manager, Condoleezza Rice. "But I'm confident that, given how nervous George is about going there and how much time he's put into preparing his act, he should get a good reception."
Plans to extend the tour to Iraq were, to Mr Bush's apparent relief, abandoned after the venue was double-booked with Tony Blair.
Look at this, moron.