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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Tony Blair |
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| You have been drawn towards: Home > News | 11th February |
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| Government to set targets for number of NHS targets 6 Jun 2003 The government is to introduce a new target for the setting of targets in the National Health Service, it was announced today. Amid criticism that too many targets are being set for the NHS, resulting in doctors concentrating on reaching them rather than treating patients, the Health Secretary decided a simplification was needed. "The practice of haphazardly setting targets for improvement must end," he told journalists. "Since the last Conservative government, targets have been set whenever they have been deemed necessary – either for practical reasons or because it makes the government look like it's doing something. In the 21st century this is no longer realistic." "From next week, a team of specialist target-setters will be employed to set appropriate – and, more importantly, easily achievable – short-term targets for individual hospitals up and down the country," Mr Milburn continued. "Indeed, one of their first tasks will be to decide how many targets to set each day. This won't, of course, contribute to the overall total number of targets set – the system will be secured against corruption." In an attempt to make the NHS more accountable to its customers, a new web site will be set up to allow people to check on the progress of targets and special electronic display boards will be added to large hospitals to provide live updates. League tables on death rates, success rates and waiting list times will meanwhile be scrapped. Earlier this week the Conservatives unveiled their plans for the NHS. Launching the proposals as part of his "Fair Deal" strategy at a press conference, alleged Conservative leader Iain "Duncan Smith" promised patients "a fair deal". "Treatment, waiting times and hospital conditions will all be fair," he said. "They won't be brilliant, they'll be fair. Fair at the point of delivery. Everywhere. Except in private hospitals." "Patient choice is the key," he insisted. "Patients must be free to get decent treatment at a private hospital or poor treatment at an NHS hospital. So long as they have the money, it's up to them." Speaking today, Mr Duncan Smith was critical of the government's new targeting initiative. "This is just another example of the control freakery we expect from this government," he complained. "Patients should be free to set their own targets for the NHS – and to do so from the comfort of a private hospital. If they can afford it, of course."
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