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| You have landed on top of: Home > News | 11th February |
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 Sacked editor to reveal Hillary Clinton's darkest secrets 8 Jun 2003 by Allen Voivod In another smashing journalistic coup, DeadBrain has secured extremely sensitive and scandalous material from an early draft of Hillary Clinton's autobiography, Living History. DeadBrain tracked down Simon & Schuster's first editor on the book, Ms. Ingrid Haggardsly, who was fired under unusual circumstances. Ms. Haggardsly suffers from glaucoma, and claims to use marijuana for medicinal purposes related to her ailment. Simon & Schuster relieved her of her duties once they learned of her drug usage. "That bitch Hillary ratted me out," was the first thing Haggardsly, 63, told us over cocktails and a smoke. "We're at a lunch meeting, and she gives me this nasty look. 'Is that pot I smell?' she asks. 'Yeah, you wanna toke?' I says to her. 'No, Al and Tipper [Gore] do it all the time, and I'm sick of the smell,' she says. 'Well, I use it for my eyes. I got the glaucoma and all,' I tell her, and she nods and says how sorry she is for me, and then she goes and rats me out and they fire me." "Otherwise, we got along all right," Haggardsly reported. "Constantly calling, though, wanting to discuss my notes with me, arguing every last one of them. I nearly ghost-wrote the whole third draft for her, just to keep her off my back for a while." Ms. Haggardsly is now suing the publishing house under the Americans with Disabilities Act for discrimination against glaucoma patients. Needing funds for the lawsuit, she agreed to share some sordid details with DeadBrain, for a price. Of course, though Ms. Haggardsly thought we said we'd "line all her pockets with cash" for the deal, what we actually said was that we'd give her the "lint from our pockets and dash." Marijuana does funny things to people. Tomorrow, DeadBrain brings you the first of three special features revealing what Hillary Clinton left out of her memoirs. Related articles Hillary's sordid past: Sex and the Senate 12 Jun 2003 Hillary's sordid past: Swinging and wife-swapping 11 Jun 2003 Hillary's sordid past: The politics of pleasuring poultry 10 Jun 2003 Sacked editor to reveal Hillary Clinton's darkest secrets 8 Jun 2003
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