| | Evil leaders threaten to sue Bush and Rumsfeld
13 Jun 2003 by Malcolm Drury
DeadBrain has learned that Libyan strong man Mohammar Khaddafi has threatened to file a class action suit in a Belgian court against US President "Boy" George W. Bush and his Secretary of Offence, Donald Rumsfeld, for "wilfully ignoring evil people other than Saddam Hussein™ and Osama bin Laden". The suit, on behalf of other evil leaders, would seek unspecified damages for loss of reputation.
In an exclusive interview with DeadBrain, Mr. Khaddafi said, "I can be pretty evil, too, if pushed, as can my colleagues, yet we've been completely ignored since the USA and its ally invaded Iraq. What's so special about Saddam Hussein™ and bin Laden? This ignoring us is really bad for our reputations at home and abroad."
He refused to divulge the names of the co-litigants, but they are thought to include Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe, Charles Taylor of Liberia, and the members of the military junta of Myanmar.
"If Bush and Rumsfeld don't start mentioning us in their rhetoric we're all set to go ahead with this action," said Mr. Khaddafi. "All we want is a little bit of recognition - maybe an accusation that we have weapons of mass destruction or that we're hiding Taliban, or something like that. Surely that's not too much to ask?"
Pentagon spokesman Elmer K. Ramsbottom III told DeadBrain that he was unaware of the threatened lawsuit, but said he was not surprised. "For several weeks we've been receiving phone calls in the middle of the night," he said. "It's always a man with a Middle Eastern accent, and all he says is 'We're going to get you, Rummy' then hangs up. The CIA has used voice recognition software and has tried to trace the call, but they tell us that it's a Chinese woman calling from Greenland. But we've suspected for some time that it's really Khaddafi."
When alerted to this threat, President Bush apparently simply asked, "Where's Libya?"
Look at this, moron.
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