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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Saddam Hussein |
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| You have fallen into: Home > News | 11th February |
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| "Troubled" Bush roundly mocked by Israelis, Palestinians 13 Jun 2003 by Allen Voivod After Israel attempted to assassinate a Hamas leader on Tuesday, US President George W. Bush said he was "troubled" by Israel's actions and by the escalating violence in the Middle East. At an Israeli checkpoint today, reaction was overwhelmingly sarcastic. "Really? Bush is troubled? Wow!" one Palestinian man said. "That and a dollar will get me a Coke!" Riffing on this sentiment, a nearby Israeli woman said, "So, Bush is troubled? Wonderful. That and a bus token will get me killed by another suicide bomber!" Another Palestinian man, this one being strip-searched by two Israeli soldiers looking for explosives, said, "It's good to hear Bush is troubled. Maybe now I'll go and build that house in Jenin I've always wanted. The Israelis won't send in the bulldozers, now that Bush is troubled." "Yes," one soldier replied, "now we won't have to call in those air-strikes anymore! That was costing us a lot of money!" The other soldier added, "Yeah, and then maybe businesses will start coming back to invest in our country. Our economy's bound to improve if Bush is troubled by the situation!" A Palestinian woman returning home had this to say: "Maybe that means Bush will stick his neck out and try to do something good for us here, even though he's about to come up for re-election and they still haven't found WMD in Iraq. If he says he's troubled, that must mean he's going to do something about the awful things happening here. Right? Right?" The Palestinians and Israelis all had a good laugh at the checkpoint here today, and nobody was killed or injured. "Maybe," one Israeli teenager commented, "that means we could learn to get along together."
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