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| You have landed on top of: Home > News | 4th February |
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| Man microwaves his own head 23 Jun 2003 by Johnny Dupe John Talbot likes to cook. "I'm a lazy man's chef," Talbot proudly proclaims from his hospital bed in Appleton, WI, USA. "I love to cook, but I hate all the bother. The microwave gets the job done for me quickly. Microwaving is a good cooking device - it's not just for punishing your pet anymore." On July 27th at 9:52 pm, Talbot had an idea that had been hounding him for years: he wanted to microwave his own head. "Call me stupid, but honestly, has anyone ever done it before?" he asks. Talbot, a 53-year-old former toilet-bowl maintenance worker, decided to break the barriers and fry his brains to potential certain death. "Man, it sure hurt for the first 2 minutes," a slightly bewildered Talbot exclaimed from Mountain Limb Hospital in Oshkosh. "The first minute, it felt like my brains were scrambled like... they were scrambled like... like an EGG! My brain hurt so bad!!" After this everyday occurrence, Talbot then turned the microwave on. "That's when things started to get a little funky," he candidly states. "I heard my brain cells bubble. A bit. Well, I think I heard them, but how the hell can I be sure, because my head was being fried, ya know?" The fact that John Talbot is a knowledgeable cook saved his life. "I like my meat rare, and that 4-minute setting really saved my ass. I mean it saved my freakin' head!! Ha ha!" Talbot can laugh about it now. But it wasn't laughable when his noggin was being cooked to a cannibal's delight. The fact that he chose a conservative setting (4 minutes) saved him from exploding his head. Yes, John Talbot believes in fate. "I guess I've been given a second chance," he says proudly from his hospital bed. "Sticking my head in a microwave is clearly not something I want to do again, but I felt it needed to be addressed." Talbot is expected to be released from Mountain Limb Hospital this Friday, but what does the future hold for Wisconsin's own "Galloping Gourmet"? "I'm going to stick my head in a 700 degree boiling pot of spaghetti, and I ain't coming out until my head is one big meatball," he told DeadBrain.
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