| | US offer of Bush-Blair job-swap declined by UK
20 Jul 2003
The British people have declined an offer of a leader job-swap from the American people. Following Tony Blair's brief but well-received visit to Washington earlier this week, Americans across the United States participated in a television poll where 83% of respondents were in favour of swapping George W Bush for Tony Blair. Of those, a majority were also willing to "tip the balance" by throwing in Dick Cheney and a $500m "golden goodbye" if necessary.
However, the respected British polling agency MORIORLESSI today unveiled the results of its own counter-survey, which show that the British people will not accept the offer. Given three options – "I love Blair and I want to keep him", "I hate Blair but he's not as bad as Bush" and "I love Bush and I hate Blair, let's have Bush instead" – around 60% of respondents voted for the second option. A surprisingly large 5% of respondents attempted to vote for all three.
In a separate question, MORIORLESSI found that around 75% of respondents would be happy to swap John Prescott for $500m, so long as both George W Bush and Dick Cheney stayed at home. 90% of Conservatives were also willing to swap their alleged leader, "Iain" Duncan Smith, for $5 "or less if necessary".
DeadBrain asked statistics expert Dr Douglas Ramsbottom of the University of Kent to comment on the findings. "The results clearly show what other polls have shown: Blair's popularity at home is falling, but Blair's popularity in the States is rising. Bush's popularity at home is falling, but his popularity in the UK is…er…well, he's not very popular here, either," he explained.
None of the parties involved would comment on the polls.
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