 |
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Iain Duncan Smith |
|
 |
|
| You have been flattened by: Home > News | 18th May |
| |
|
 Blair's forged Iraq documents may have been forged forgeries 21 Jul 2003 by Malcolm Drury Faced with fierce and growing challenges from all sides of the House, Prime Minister Tony Blair continues to stand by his earlier claims regarding Iraq seeking uranium in Niger; in spite of the fact that some of the documents cited as evidence have long since been exposed as forgeries. However, new evidence apparently suggests he may be either the unwitting victim of a plot to embarrass him or be vindicated after all. DeadBrain has learned that an independent inquiry by a crack team of forensic scientists, archaeologists, archivists and dermatologists that has been engaged by the government to examine at arm's length the allegedly forged documents will announce that the forgeries may not be genuine. A highly-placed Downing Street official, speaking on condition of anonymity, told our reporter that the team has cast substantial doubt on the authenticity of the alleged forgeries. "It would appear," he said, "that the documents may only have been made to look as if they are forgeries. In other words, they may not be real forgeries, but forged forgeries." The renowned Egyptologist, Professor Douglas Ramsbottom of the University of Bootle, told us that forging forgeries was not unknown in the world of archaeology where it is used to embarrass potential rivals. "It's not a particularly unusual tactic," he said. "The older archaeologists occasionally use it on their junior colleagues, especially the young clever dicks. Let the youngsters ‘expose' some bogus forgery as a real forgery then jump on them for not being careful enough. It really takes the wind out of their sails and keeps the grant money away from them for a while." But that does not answer the question of who would want to pass off forged forgeries to the government, or why. The Downing Street official told DeadBrain that the Prime Minister was taking the affair very seriously. "If the forgeries do turn out to be bogus it could mean one of two things," he said, "or maybe more. First, they are a deliberate plant to embarrass the PM by making it seem as if he's not on top of things. And of course he is. As anyone can see. Or second - and this is what we are very strongly leaning to - it totally vindicates him. I mean, two negatives make a positive, so logically a forged forgery must be a genuine document right?" Asked whom he thought might be responsible if that first explanation were correct, the official was coy. "Well Mr. Blair has upset some European leaders with his unstinting support of President Bush and his lack of full support for a European constitution," he said. "Off the record, maybe we wouldn't need to look much beyond the other end of the Channel Tunnel, if you catch my drift." Challenged by our fearless reporter that this whole inquiry was itself bogus, designed to pin blame elsewhere and apparently vindicate Mr. Blair, the official blinked rapidly and said "Well, er, um ..." before hurriedly excusing himself and leaving. A number of asylum seekers on the French side of the Channel Tunnel have tonight been detained by MI6. Related articles Baghdad cat gets stuck up tree 11 Apr 2007
Democrats propose "cap and trade" scheme for Iraq troop levels26 Jan 2007
BREAKING NOOSE: Saddam execution - special 40-page colour souvenir only in today's Sun!2 Jan 2007
Iraq war suffers summer slump as ratings 'bomb'14 Aug 2006
Al-Zarqawi killed by blast injuries - shock12 Jun 2006
Suicide attacks in Iraq kill 37 – population critical12 May 2006
Prince Harry Potter will go to Iraq: MoD24 Apr 2006
Saddam Hussein re-instated as President of Iraq18 Feb 2006
Typo ends British army presence in Iraq4 Jan 2006
Iraq wakes up to new 'Sunni Delight' drink20 Jul 2005
US Marines surround Bethnal Green6 May 2005
US to search for WMDs in Iraq1 Feb 2005
Abuse tolerance zones planned for British soldiers27 Jan 2005
Al-Zarqawi "kicked" from Iraqi militant website25 Nov 2004
Hoon asks Iraqis not to shoot back22 Oct 2004
Comical Ali implicated in Allawi speech24 Sep 2004
Exclusive: Tape casts doubt on Bush's "no torture" claims24 Jun 2004
Bush declassifies personal shopping list, proves did not order torture23 Jun 2004
MoD considers adequate equipment supply for British troops8 Jun 2004
New Iraq puppet government: Sooty in charge2 Jun 2004
UK troop deployment not related to election; Pope's religion questioned30 May 2004
Plans for new Bush statue to replace Saddam ruin in Baghdad25 Apr 2004
Secret US plan to turn Iraq over to Halliburton uncovered20 Apr 2004
Saddam Hussein promises Iraq truce in return for release15 Apr 2004
Pentagon hires Comical Ali to head Iraq PR9 Apr 2004
US to withdraw from Iraq, start again8 Apr 2004
One week on: Top 10 options for Saddam22 Dec 2003 Bush hails downfall of Sauron, asks for UN aid for Mordor reconstruction 15 Dec 2003 Bush: Ever noticed how all evil people have beards? 14 Dec 2003 17:53 Tony Blair's reaction to Saddam Hussein's capture 14 Dec 2003 14:46 Coalition: Saddam captured, will never buy weapons from us again 14 Dec 2003 Bush, Rumsfeld in Halloween video campaign for Iraqi war effort 30 Oct 2003 Bush appeals directly to Europeans for Iraq aid 16 Oct 2003 Bush upset over Nobel Peace Prize, promises "decisive action" 10 Oct 2003 Guantanamo Bay interpreters suspected of Comical Ali influence 7 Oct 2003 White House sacks Bush speechwriters after poor UN performance 24 Sep 2003 Branson considering Iraq bid 22 Sep 2003 In Brief: Leaders find common ground in Iraq talks 20 Sep 2003 Cheney look-alike blames Saddam Hussein™ for everything 17 Sep 2003 US seeks alternative financing for its occupation of Iraq 5 Sep 2003 US finds planes, battleships, soldiers buried in Iraqi desert 2 August 2003 Bush and officials to take turns accepting blame for bogus uranium claim 31 July 2003 Comical Ali: Blair's son is dead 29 Jul 2003 Liberation of Iraq to be re-enacted for Crimewatch 25 Jul 2003 Comical Ali: Saddam's sons are not dead 23 Jul 2003 Blair's forged Iraq documents may have been forged forgeries 21 Jul 2003 Satire site found guilty of fabricating war report 21 Jul 2003 Pentagon: OK, so maybe the Iraqis had a cloaking device 18 Jul 2003 Parliament approves hunting for WMD with hounds 16 Jul 2003 Saddam Hussein™ offers $10 million reward for Cheney 10 Jul 2003 MPs clear BBC in Iraq dossier row 7 Jul 2003 U.S. prepares ground for more liberations 6 Jul 2003 Saddam Hussein to feature in next Harry Potter novel 27 Jun 2003 Bush and Rumsfeld in card game spat 25 Jun 2003 Rumsfeld outraged at Satirists' Guild, threatens "forceful action" 23 Jun 2003 Satirists Guild calls for halt on WMD stories 22 Jun 2003 New fabricated intelligence dossier proves everything 20 Jun 2003 Greenstock appointed to Iraq post; rest of world couldn't care less 19 Jun 2003
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2001-2006 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Sheep |