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After Saddam

Blair's forged Iraq documents may have been forged forgeries
Faced with fierce and growing challenges from all sides of the House, Prime Minister Tony Blair continues to stand by his earlier claims regarding Iraq seeking uranium in Niger; in spite of the fact that some of the documents cited as evidence have long since been exposed as forgeries. However, new evidence apparently suggests he may be either the unwitting victim of a plot to embarrass him or be vindicated after all.

DeadBrain has learned that an independent inquiry by a crack team of forensic scientists, archaeologists, archivists and dermatologists that has been engaged by the government to examine at arm's length the allegedly forged documents will announce that the forgeries may not be genuine.

A highly-placed Downing Street official, speaking on condition of anonymity, told our reporter that the team has cast substantial doubt on the authenticity of the alleged forgeries.

"It would appear," he said, "that the documents may only have been made to look as if they are forgeries. In other words, they may not be real forgeries, but forged forgeries."

The renowned Egyptologist, Professor Douglas Ramsbottom of the University of Bootle, told us that forging forgeries was not unknown in the world of archaeology where it is used to embarrass potential rivals.

"It's not a particularly unusual tactic," he said. "The older archaeologists occasionally use it on their junior colleagues, especially the young clever dicks. Let the youngsters ‘expose' some bogus forgery as a real forgery then jump on them for not being careful enough. It really takes the wind out of their sails and keeps the grant money away from them for a while."

But that does not answer the question of who would want to pass off forged forgeries to the government, or why.

The Downing Street official told DeadBrain that the Prime Minister was taking the affair very seriously. "If the forgeries do turn out to be bogus it could mean one of two things," he said, "or maybe more. First, they are a deliberate plant to embarrass the PM by making it seem as if he's not on top of things. And of course he is. As anyone can see. Or second - and this is what we are very strongly leaning to - it totally vindicates him. I mean, two negatives make a positive, so logically a forged forgery must be a genuine document right?"

Asked whom he thought might be responsible if that first explanation were correct, the official was coy. "Well Mr. Blair has upset some European leaders with his unstinting support of President Bush and his lack of full support for a European constitution," he said. "Off the record, maybe we wouldn't need to look much beyond the other end of the Channel Tunnel, if you catch my drift."

Challenged by our fearless reporter that this whole inquiry was itself bogus, designed to pin blame elsewhere and apparently vindicate Mr. Blair, the official blinked rapidly and said "Well, er, um ..." before hurriedly excusing himself and leaving.

A number of asylum seekers on the French side of the Channel Tunnel have tonight been detained by MI6.

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