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| You are staring at: Home > News | 19th March |
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 Liberation of Iraq to be re-enacted for Crimewatch 25 Jul 2003 by Malcolm Drury With international criminal and failed dictator Saddam Hussein™ still on the run, and still with no indication of where he is, the Anglo-American liberation of Iraq earlier this year is to be re-staged for a special edition of the BBC television programme "Crimewatch", to be aired on Iraqi television, DeadBrain has learned. Encouraged by the apparent demise of two of his sons, the hopes are that the reconstruction will jog the memories of the Iraqi people regarding the movements and whereabouts of Mr. Saddam following the last known sightings of him just prior to the fall of Baghdad. The scheme was announced by British army spokesman Brigadier-General Sir Douglas Noseworthy-Ramsbottom MBE at a press conference at the Ministry of Defence in London this morning. "We've been there for several months now, by Jove," he said, "and there's still no sign of the bounder. We have the soldiers still there so logistically the re-enactment will not be difficult. Of course, we'll be doing it in concert with our American partners, if they wish, but it will be British-led though and through. The BBC will be providing the technical television side of things and we'll be providing the troops and ammo, and doing the make up and catering." Asked if live ammunition would be used, the Brigadier-General said that obviously it would. "Wouldn't be authentic without it, don't you know," he said, twirling his expansive moustache. "We will be taking a bit of artistic licence," he admitted, "in that we'll be speeding the process up somewhat - compressing events, I mean. The Crimewatch special will only last half an hour so we have to." Nick Ross, co-presenter of Crimewatch, told our reporter that this would be the biggest challenge the programme has faced in its almost 20 year history, but that he was confident that it would succeed. "Fiona [Bruce] and I are delighted to have this opportunity to participate," he said. "We're really looking forward to maybe being part of the team that leads to Saddam's capture. And the $25 million reward really doesn't enter into it. It's our public duty." Upon learning of this British initiative US Secretary of Offence Donald "Dr. Strangelove" Rumsfeld is reported to have been incensed, turning white with rage, jumping onto his desk, biting his lapel and screaming "Those gosh darn limeys better understand who's running this show! There's no way our brave American boys will be taking part!" A spokesman for the British Defence Secretary, Geoff "Buff" Hoon, told us he thought this was just sour grapes because the Americans didn't think of it first. In related news, two American television networks are believed to be negotiating with Pentagon officials for television rights. It is understood that CBS Television wishes to do a "Survivor: Tikrit" series, and the Fox Network is thought to be interested in obtaining military footage for a series of "reality TV" programmes, including "When Mortar Attacks Go Wrong" and "World's Worst Tank Drivers". Related articles Baghdad cat gets stuck up tree 11 Apr 2007
Democrats propose "cap and trade" scheme for Iraq troop levels26 Jan 2007
BREAKING NOOSE: Saddam execution - special 40-page colour souvenir only in today's Sun!2 Jan 2007
Iraq war suffers summer slump as ratings 'bomb'14 Aug 2006
Al-Zarqawi killed by blast injuries - shock12 Jun 2006
Suicide attacks in Iraq kill 37 – population critical12 May 2006
Prince Harry Potter will go to Iraq: MoD24 Apr 2006
Saddam Hussein re-instated as President of Iraq18 Feb 2006
Typo ends British army presence in Iraq4 Jan 2006
Iraq wakes up to new 'Sunni Delight' drink20 Jul 2005
US Marines surround Bethnal Green6 May 2005
US to search for WMDs in Iraq1 Feb 2005
Abuse tolerance zones planned for British soldiers27 Jan 2005
Al-Zarqawi "kicked" from Iraqi militant website25 Nov 2004
Hoon asks Iraqis not to shoot back22 Oct 2004
Comical Ali implicated in Allawi speech24 Sep 2004
Exclusive: Tape casts doubt on Bush's "no torture" claims24 Jun 2004
Bush declassifies personal shopping list, proves did not order torture23 Jun 2004
MoD considers adequate equipment supply for British troops8 Jun 2004
New Iraq puppet government: Sooty in charge2 Jun 2004
UK troop deployment not related to election; Pope's religion questioned30 May 2004
Plans for new Bush statue to replace Saddam ruin in Baghdad25 Apr 2004
Secret US plan to turn Iraq over to Halliburton uncovered20 Apr 2004
Saddam Hussein promises Iraq truce in return for release15 Apr 2004
Pentagon hires Comical Ali to head Iraq PR9 Apr 2004
US to withdraw from Iraq, start again8 Apr 2004
One week on: Top 10 options for Saddam22 Dec 2003 Bush hails downfall of Sauron, asks for UN aid for Mordor reconstruction 15 Dec 2003 Bush: Ever noticed how all evil people have beards? 14 Dec 2003 17:53 Tony Blair's reaction to Saddam Hussein's capture 14 Dec 2003 14:46 Coalition: Saddam captured, will never buy weapons from us again 14 Dec 2003 Bush, Rumsfeld in Halloween video campaign for Iraqi war effort 30 Oct 2003 Bush appeals directly to Europeans for Iraq aid 16 Oct 2003 Bush upset over Nobel Peace Prize, promises "decisive action" 10 Oct 2003 Guantanamo Bay interpreters suspected of Comical Ali influence 7 Oct 2003 White House sacks Bush speechwriters after poor UN performance 24 Sep 2003 Branson considering Iraq bid 22 Sep 2003 In Brief: Leaders find common ground in Iraq talks 20 Sep 2003 Cheney look-alike blames Saddam Hussein™ for everything 17 Sep 2003 US seeks alternative financing for its occupation of Iraq 5 Sep 2003 US finds planes, battleships, soldiers buried in Iraqi desert 2 August 2003 Bush and officials to take turns accepting blame for bogus uranium claim 31 July 2003 Comical Ali: Blair's son is dead 29 Jul 2003 Liberation of Iraq to be re-enacted for Crimewatch 25 Jul 2003 Comical Ali: Saddam's sons are not dead 23 Jul 2003 Blair's forged Iraq documents may have been forged forgeries 21 Jul 2003 Satire site found guilty of fabricating war report 21 Jul 2003 Pentagon: OK, so maybe the Iraqis had a cloaking device 18 Jul 2003 Parliament approves hunting for WMD with hounds 16 Jul 2003 Saddam Hussein™ offers $10 million reward for Cheney 10 Jul 2003 MPs clear BBC in Iraq dossier row 7 Jul 2003 U.S. prepares ground for more liberations 6 Jul 2003 Saddam Hussein to feature in next Harry Potter novel 27 Jun 2003 Bush and Rumsfeld in card game spat 25 Jun 2003 Rumsfeld outraged at Satirists' Guild, threatens "forceful action" 23 Jun 2003 Satirists Guild calls for halt on WMD stories 22 Jun 2003 New fabricated intelligence dossier proves everything 20 Jun 2003 Greenstock appointed to Iraq post; rest of world couldn't care less 19 Jun 2003
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