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After Saddam

Comical Ali: Blair's son is dead
The Arabic television channel, Al Jazeera TV, today broadcast an audiotape in which a man purporting to be the former Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, claimed that Iraqi Special Forces had killed the Prime Minister's son, Euan Blair.

"Our courageous Special Forces shot Euan Blair dead last night in Piccadilly Square, London. Euan Blair's death was extremely torturous and his body was left in a pool of vomit and blood as part of our retaliation against the brutal killings of Uday and Qusay Hussein," the voice claimed. "And if you don't believe me, look at this – I have photographic evidence, just like the American murderers did." The effect was somewhat lost due to the tape being audio-only, but when Fox News rebroadcast the tape they claimed that the photographs – if they existed – were forged.

A Downing Street spokesman immediately quashed the rumours, insisting that Euan Blair is alive and well and the media was later allowed to photograph the Prime Minister together with his son. However, several eyewitnesses have come forward to back the former Information Minister's claims.

"Those photographs must have been forged, or maybe they used a double," suggested one. "I definitely saw Euan Blair collapsed in a heap on the floor in Piccadilly Square early this morning. He was covered in blood and sick – it was a terrible sight."

A source close to the Prime Minister told DeadBrain that Euan had merely been "out on a bender" and all of his injuries were self-inflicted, adding that the Blairs were sorry for any confusion caused.

Mr Saeed al-Sahaf was unavailable for comment.

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Look at this, moron.

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