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Prince Phillip appointed president of Equality Commission
18 Aug 2003 by Dick Tator
In a move described as "a positive step", Prince Phillip was today named Honorary President of the Equality Commission. The move, which has surprised many royal watchers, is believed to have been the idea of palace officials desperate to try to bring the image of the Duke of Edinburgh up to date.
According to an unnamed palace insider, "The palace has long been embarrassed by the Duke of Edinburgh's many public gaffes, so they thought that by giving him this role, he might learn a bit more about the country's multi-ethnic cultures. The palace hopes that the stories about Prince Phillip's many blunders are now in the past and the people of Britain can look forward to seeing a more politically correct Duke of Edinburgh."
However, another insider claims that the Prince is unhappy about his new role. "He's not exactly chuffed," said the palace worker, who was apparently in the room when these plans were explained to Prince Phillip. "He started pacing around, mumbling about how he had been planning on going shooting, and then he made a comment about how he might be able to do both at the same time."
When pressed on what the Duke of Edinburgh might have meant by this, the insider added: "Maybe he thought he could do both if he had a helicopter waiting outside for him or something."
Gregory T Mullet, a royal analyst at the University of Bootle, thinks that the Duke of Edinburgh my find his new job a challenging one. "It's not exactly his specialist area," he said. "Prince Phillip's record shows that his understanding of other cultures is pretty limited, and his notoriously dry sense of humour means that it will be like he's walking on egg shells with his hunting boots on, so to speak."
In a joint press conference between the palace and the Commission, official spokesperson for the Commission Douglas Ramsbottom told reporters: "Prince Phillip is delighted to be part of an organisation that cares so much about the youth of today. He has been enthusiastic about his new role and has even been listening to music by artists such as Eminem and Punjabi MC to prepare. It will be an exciting learning experience for him and he's looking forward to the challenge."
Rumours that Princes William and Harry were teaching him to break dance were unfortunately dismissed as speculation.
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