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North Korean cheerleaders occupy Yonsei University
29 Aug 2003 by Ross Bender
A squad of 310 gorgeous but muscular North Korean cheerleaders occupied Yonsei University in Seoul, South Korea today. The cheer squad of lissom yet dynamic females apparently slipped away from the annual University Games in the southern city of Daegu and travelled incognito to Seoul where they occupied positions in the Yonsei University Geology Department and showered riot police with rare specimens of Korean rocks.
The incident comes amid tense negotiations in Beijing, where delegations from eight nations have converged around an octagonal table to address the issue of North Korea's nuclear weapons. A tense but cordial atmosphere has thus far prevailed as North Korea, South Korea, China, Japan, USA, Russia, Togo and Vanuatu, where the Duke of Edinburgh is worshipped as a god, opened talks Wednesday. It is not yet clear what impact the North Korean cheerleaders' action will have upon the summit, although North Korean Foreign Minister Lee Bum Suk opened today's sessions by denouncing US President George W. Bush as "scum" and "a bloodsucker."
The delicate but strong-limbed cheerleaders rained a shower of rocks down upon South Korean riot police, who clashed with left-wing Yonsei students chanting "All power to the people's state and to the Dear Leader", a veiled reference to the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, aka North Korea, and its president Kim Jong-Il. Right-wing students stayed beyond the police lines and chanted "North Korean cheerleaders you were trained from childhood to be concubines of the Dear Leader, now drop your pants and give us traditional Korean blowjobs!"
Response from the good-looking yet intense cheerleaders was immediate. "We got da bomb, yeah! We are da bomb, yeah! Stick your stupid heads up your traditional (South) Korean asses!" Spokeswomen for the cheerleaders, Ri Yu-gyong and Wang Yun-mi, told DeadBrain: "One-two-three-four, victory to the Peoples' War! Five-six-seven-eight, organize to smash the state!"
US President Bush, still vacationing in Crawford, Texas, commented: "I go for cheerleaders as much as the next head of state, but these skinny gals ain't got nothin' on our Aggies babes." The Aggies are the football team of Texas Agricultural and Methodist University.
The latest from the University Games themselves is that the North Korean athletes in Daegu are leading in the goose-stepping competitions.
Look at this, moron.
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