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No. 10 press office announces successful balloon mission
3 Sep 2003 by Flash Gorman
In a showcase exhibition, the new look Government Press Office held its first press conference today. Fronted by moustachioed communications director David "MountainOutOfaMole" Hill, the conference was a chance for the government to heap praise on today's successful attempt on the world balloon altitude record.
In a confident display Mr Hill described in great detail how the balloon team had taken off from St Ives early this morning and soared to a record breaking 130,000 feet. Mr Hill described it as another shining example of Britain's ballooning achievements and one that ranked alongside Richard Branson's three successful round the world flights.
Despite a promising start, the conference went rapidly downhill when a reporter questioned the veracity of Mr Hill's statements. The reporter referred to a story broadcast on the BBC claiming that the balloon attempt had in fact been aborted. This appeared to rattle Mr Hill who started to nervously edge towards a velvet curtain draped behind him whilst attempting to whisper over his shoulder.
It was at this point that Mr Hill tripped and fell, pulling the curtain down with him. The sudden removal of the curtain exposed a furtive figure with an uncanny resemblance to former spin-doctor Alistair Campbell hunched over a microphone. The figure immediately attempted to restore the curtain whilst a message boomed over the loudspeakers asking journalists to "ignore the man behind the curtain" and stating that "these are not the droids you are looking for. Go about your business".
The conference was hastily abandoned at this point but was later described by the Number 10 press office as "highly successful" and "in no way dodgy whatsoever. Not even a little bit".
This looks good...
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