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Britons to be required to pass language and citizenship test 3 Sep 2003 by Malcolm Drury Immigrant groups in the UK have reacted angrily to a proposal for a mandatory language and citizenship test to be taken by people applying for UK citizenship, claiming it unfairly singles them out. Under the proposal, made public on Wednesday, all immigrants applying for British citizenship would have to pass a language exam in English, Welsh or Scots Gaelic, and demonstrate a basic knowledge of basic British institutions such as the Royal Family, Parliament, Rupert Murdoch, football, curry and chips, and strikes. Failing the exam would mean applicants would not be able to obtain a British passport or vote, although their residency status would not be affected. Free language and citizenship classes would be provided. The proposal has been welcomed by the Home Secretary, David Blunkett, who said that it is important that new citizens be able to communicate with their neighbours and be welcomed fully by other British people. However, DeadBrain has learned that in view of the negative reaction by immigrant groups, the government is considering modifying the proposal's recommendations to include all British citizens. Douglas Ramsbottom, spokesman for Mr. Blunkett, told our reporter that the modification was being suggested in the interest of fairness. "We feel that by focussing the testing entirely on immigrants we would actually be going against its intent, which is to make them feel comfortable and welcome, rather than somehow being 'different'," he said. Under the suggested modification, all British citizens over the age of 5 would be required to prove fluency in at least one of English, Welsh or Scots Gaelic. While some allowance would be made for regional dialect variations, the focus would be on an adequate level of competence at the "standard" language. They would also have to demonstrate at least a rudimentary understanding of British institutions. Anyone failing the test would have to turn in their passport, driving licence, AA or RAC membership and Blue Peter badges, as appropriate, and would not be allowed to vote in any further elections, although they would not lose their right to live in the UK and they would still be required to pay taxes. They would be eligible to participate in the special classes for immigrants, and if they could later pass the test the confiscated articles and rights would be returned. The famous linguistics expert, Professor Douglas Ramsbottom of the University of Bootle, told DeadBrain that he welcomed the modified proposal. "Consider, from the language point of view, a man from Newcastle trying to communicate with someone in Cornwall. It would be well-nigh impossible unless standard English were used," he said. "This testing would just ensure that we could all communicate with each other. And it would need linguistics experts to set up appropriate testing procedures. Could be very lucrative for us. I'm all for it." Related Articles Tories: Asylum seekers should be checked for Britishness 6 Aug 2003 Government pleased with new "unpowered" repatriation method 1 Aug 2003 Government outlines new citizenship test 28 Jul 2003 Asylum seekers have brought NHS to its knees, says Daily Mail 28 May 2003 The DeadBrain Asylum Seeker Quiz 27 May 2003
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