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  You are just out of reach of: Home > News8th January 
  Gap clothing sued over misleading school adverts
The clothing producer Gap has been served a lawsuit by a child over its latest advert for its "back to school" range of clothes. Douglas Ramsbottom, aged 16, is suing the company over their misleading adverts, where children back at school are shown to be having a good time, which he states "is clearly not the case, dawg".

After watching the most recent Gap advert, which depicts young children twirling around, jumping up and down, and generally enjoying themselves to a funky beat in the background, Douglas then went to Bootle Secondary School for Boys, full of high hopes for much new-style free soul dancing, community spirit, and trendy clothing in the new year. When he arrived, however, he was severely disappointed.

In an exclusive interview with DeadBrain, Douglas, formerly of Maryland, USA, outlined the case of his lawsuit against Gap: "When I got to school, there was no music in the playground coming from a mysterious source, and no-one was dancing. It was a shambles. I mean, what is this? And look at this uniform? My granny wears cooler stuff than this, dawg!"

When he tried to get the spirit flowing by spinning around repeatedly in what was described by a source as "a very homosexual fashion", Douglas was promptly punched in the face by a larger student, who called him a "pansy". A teacher has since been reprimanded for allegedly using inappropriate language when describing a student's dance routine.

Gap has been in a controversial lawsuit before, when local street cleaner David Knogled complained that, contrary to the popular advert, no group of attractive young people ever surrounded him and started to sing "Mellow Yellow". "It would be so nice," he said at the time, "if we ever had a really nice sing song like those people on TV. But no, Gap misled me, and I want compensation for emotional damage. Don't throw that on the floor please."

The Headteacher of the school, Gregory T Mullet, was uncertain in his support for the case, stating that although he was fully prepared to support one of his top students (Douglas gained 12 A*s at GCSE), he did see some difficulties that may present themselves, such as when Douglas attempted to dance naked on the desk during his mathematics class to "get it swinging". Such antics may be used against Douglas if Gap decides to file a counter suit.

The lawyer for Gap gave a short statement this afternoon, explaining their stance on the matter: "The Gap clothing company will ignore all claims from students who say anything so full of innuendo as 'get it swinging' whilst they are naked. Look at me, TV depicts lawyers as rich, high-powered legal executives, but after I'm done here I have to nip down to Harrods' for some beans and bread. You don't see me suing Ally McBeal, though, do you?" In an entirely unofficial aside after the press conference, he was heard to add that "this is such bollocks".

Douglas was unavailable to respond to this at the time of writing, as he was busy suing McDonald's on the grounds that "when I buy a burger, man, I'm like 210 kilograms, but the people in the adverts are like, 60! What is this!? Dawg."



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