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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Boris Johnson |
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| You have fallen into: Home > News | 20th March |
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 Renewed calls for Hutton Inquiry to be clearly marked 15 Sep 2003 by Flash Gorman There were fresh calls today for the inquiry into Dr David Kelly's death to be more clearly marked, as another prominent politician collided with it. As spin-doctors battle to salvage the badly-damaged career of Defence Secretary Geoff Hoon, ministers were anxiously reviewing safety measures to ensure their own prospects are not holed beneath the waterline. Having caused considerable embarrassment to the BBC and completely sank Alistair Campbell, it is clear that the Hutton Inquiry poses a major hazard but opinions are divided on how to deal with it. Most of those involved favour some form of additional warnings to be placed on the Inquiry to prevent those in the public eye from steaming into it at full tilt. Advocates of this course of action point out that it is perfectly possible to avoid similar inquiries altogether – a feat ably demonstrated by George W Bush and his entire administration. Members of the British Government, on the other hand, feel that the Inquiry is too dangerous to remain in the UK's political waters and have called for it be to towed out of sight and sunk without trace. However, DeadBrain's political editor, Douglas Ramsbottom, feels that no action is required. "The public attention span has already begun to move away from the Inquiry," he said via live satellite link from the desk opposite. "In our most recent poll, 90 percent of those questioned had no knowledge of the Inquiry whatsoever, with the remaining 10 percent thinking it was something to do with top TV presenter Mathew Kelly. Granted, we only spoke to Daily Sport readers, but at this rate people will have forgotten about it altogether soon." Related Articles Campbell resigns, replaced by Slade guitarist 29 Aug 2003 Hoon sends postcard to Dr Kelly's widow 5 Aug 2003
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