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| You are drifting somewhere near: Home > News | 16th May |
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 Cheney look-alike blames Saddam Hussein™ for everything 17 Sep 2003 by Malcolm Drury A person claiming to be US Vice President Dick "Head" Cheney has alleged on American television that failed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein™ is to blame for all world problems. The allegation was made over the past weekend in an interview on NBC's "Meet the Press". "Mr. Cheney" reiterated unsubstantiated claims that Mr. Saddam had links with terrorist group al Qaeda and had played a part in the events of September 11, 2001. Growing increasingly agitated, he went on to allege that Mr. Saddam and his regime were also directly responsible for all other global problems, including global warming, poverty, France, the Euro, Fame Academy, and David Beckham, before jumping to his feet and shouting "USA! USA! USA!". However, Mr. Cheney apparently disappeared two years ago. Although there have been several reported sightings of him, there have been none that have withstood scrutiny, and it is believed that the Vice President may be living wild in the heavily-wooded mountains of West Virginia. It s believed that, like Mr. Saddam, Mr. Cheney has a number of doubles to act as decoys, as in fact do other key members of the US administration. Howard Dean, the leading Democrat contender for the 2004 US presidential race, said that in his opinion, the person on NBC claiming to be Mr. Cheney was one of these doubles "gone rogue". "The Vice President's look-alikes must be under extreme pressure," he said, "having to contend with the likes of the President and Donald Rumsfeld, and it's quite possible that sooner or later one of them would crack." Well-known expert in psychoanalysis Professor Douglas Ramsbottom of the University of Bootle told DeadBrain that Mr. Dean's suggestion was credible. "These doubles will have been indoctrinated with Mr. Cheney's views and ideology in order to make them convincing." he said. "Given the US administration's frustrations in both Iraq and Afghanistan, and the strength and conviction of Mr. Cheney's views, it is quite possible that one of the doubles would eventually find the situation and stress unbearable. That kind of outburst is characteristic of someone whose own beliefs have been overshadowed by intense indoctrination and stretched to the breaking point." A spokesman for NBC television told our reporter that the network believed that it was indeed the real Vice President who had been interviewed, "but we are withholding the cheque until we can be sure." Related Articles US seeks alternative financing for its occupation of Iraq 5 Sep 2003 US finds planes, battleships, soldiers buried in Iraqi desert 2 August 2003 Bush and officials to take turns accepting blame for bogus uranium claim 31 July 2003 Comical Ali: Blair's son is dead 29 Jul 2003 Liberation of Iraq to be re-enacted for Crimewatch 25 Jul 2003
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