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Robin Cook freshers prank goes too far
23 Sep 2003 by Dick Tator
Lothian and Borders Police were today investigating an alleged death threat against the former Leader of the House of Commons, Robin Cook.
It is believed that the Labour MP for Livingston called in police when a life-size effigy of him landed in his communal back garden at his home in Edinburgh. The papier mache dummy, complete with red hat and a fishing rod, was apparently thrown from the upper floors of Napier University's Merchiston campus on to the lawn below. It is believed that a group of outlaw students known as "The Robin Cook Annoying Society" planned the stunt in an effort to protest against Mr Cook's attitude towards students.
Mr Cook has been in the news recently after he objected to one of his neighbours renting out his flat to students. His reasons for this objection were that the majority of the people in the block of flats are elderly and they wouldn't take kindly to being woken up by wild parties, the smell of vomit, and people having casual sex in the corridor. He also said that as an MP who is still very much in the public eye, there would be "a risk to his security".
DI Skinner McRebus of Lothian and Borders Police said in a statement: "These students have acted in a very irresponsible manner. Throwing life-size dummies off buildings is not a good idea and could easily be construed as a type of threat against Mr Cook, which is why we are taking the matter so seriously."
Mrs Smith, a neighbour of Mr Cook, found the dummy in the back garden when she went outside and saw it lying on the lawn. "It was a very good likeness," she was quoted as saying. "They must have been art students because it truly was a remarkable piece of sculpturing, it's just unfortunate that I didn't realise it was a fake until after I'd called the ambulance. Well, there was tomato ketchup everywhere, what was I supposed to think?"
A spokesperson for the group which carried out the stunt commented: "Wahey drinks £1 all night, can't wait for the pub crawl tonight I'm gonna get blootered." When asked to comment on the possibility of being arrested he added, "That would be brilliant, if I did that, then all I'd have done everything on list of freshers' challenges apart from streaking Princes Street, drinking a goldfish, and writing my name in pee outside the Scottish Parliament."
Unfortunately Mr Cook was unable to comment on the incident as he was out fishing when DeadBrain tried to contact him.
Simon says look at this...
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