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  Confusion as House of Lords bans hunting with frogs
Calls for compulsory hearing tests to be applied to all peers of the realm were renewed yesterday after another disastrous hunting vote in the House of Lords. Following on from April's ban on Fox Humping, Peers managed to mishear the proposed ban on Hunting with Dogs and instead pushed through new restrictions on frogs.

This aural ineptitude has also rekindled calls for the House of Lords to be abolished. Foreign Secretary Jack Straw launched a scathing attack on the venerable institution: "Outdated, out of touch and inhabited by ne'er-do-wells who only care about safeguarding their own futures. And that's just the House of Commons. The House of Lords is even worse!"

The continued failure of the government to implement a hunting ban is widely regarded as their biggest political failure. We spoke to our man in the street Douglas Ramsbottom who, as per his contractual obligations, gave the required soundbite:

"The is an inexcusable failure to deliver a pre-election promise. I don't mind them failing on other issues like taxes, roads, railways and hospitals but fox hunting is something that affects all of us, every day of our lives. I'll be voting for one of those other hopeless losers at the next election, I can tell you that!"

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