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| You are just out of reach of: Home > News | 6th September |
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 Howard plans further downsizing of Tory Party 12 Nov 2003 by Flash Gorman This week's Conservative leader, Michael Howard, today announced that he would be seeking further reductions in the size of his party. Affable creature of darkness Howard revealed his cost-cutting streak on Monday when he halved the size of his shadow cabinet to form more of a light shade cabinet. Obviously encouraged by the utter bemusement that greeted this political masterstroke, Mr Howard is planning to reduce the number of Conservative MPs by at least two thirds. Mr Howard was quick to point out that he hoped most of the positions could be shed through natural wastage such as general elections. "We are confident that we can lose enough of our seats to allow a new leaner, fitter Conservative Party to emerge," he said. "I'm confident that we can greatly reduce the size of our party and still provide the same level of ineffectual opposition." In tandem with his trimming exercises, Mr Howard is also keen for the party to draw on its considerable heritage. He has already brought a number of ex-ministers into the cabinet and has started an investigation into the possible exhumation of former Prime Minister Winston Churchill. "He's got a formidable track record and I'm sure that he would rise to the occasion admirably," said a source close to Mr Howard. Plans to recruit another ex-Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli, have, however, been shelved after a séance with the venerable politician. As our source explained: "Benjamin was very supportive but unfortunately he feels that our policies are a little too old fashioned." Reports that Mr Howard is also considering exhuming Margaret Thatcher have met with silence from Conservative Central Office. Related Articles BBC to sue Howard over alleged Dr Who rip-off 11 Nov 2003 Howard appoints Council of Elders, Sheriff of Nottingham 10 Nov 2003 Conservatives replace balding, unelectable leader with balding, unelectable leader 6 Nov 2003 Howard to introduce uniforms for Tory MPs if elected 4 Nov 2003 Fiennes to be approached to seek Tory leadership 3 Nov 2003 Trick or treat with Michael Howard 31 Oct 2003
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