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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Boris Johnson |
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| You are just out of reach of: Home > News | 18th May |
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 Country in total Tory denial 14 Nov 2003 by Samuel Gee A curious phenomenon has been sweeping the country recently, un-noticed by nearly everyone, excluding journalists and cats. DeadBrain can exclusively reveal that the whole of the United Kingdom has simply blocked out the Tory party. Thought to be an unforeseen consequence of the total saturation of the English media and satire world by the recent debacle involving Iain Duncan Smith, the man on the street has simply refused to recognise the Tory party, anyone belonging to it, and anyone associated with it. DeadBrain's resident psychologist, Gregory T Mullet, has studied the issue in depth, and believes that it is related to the portion of the brain known as the "Dementia Maximus", which is involved in fooling the brain on a daily basis. "The DM is the part of the brain that tells you that England could win the World Cup, that George Bush isn't a strategically shaved monkey – you know, the really stupid lies that we all just believe. It seems to have taken on denying the Tory party now, however. It's strange though - there normally are at least 50% of the population who cannot see the lies that the DM creates due to a gullibility deficiency, but this time only journalists and cats are able to see through it." The denial of all things boring – sorry, Tory - has remarkably resulted so far in no apparent injuries or deaths. It is also unknown why cats and journalists are exempt, although it is believed to be their incredible hostility to the Tories that has saved them. Late News Even journalists are now losing the ability to remember the party. Party? Who's having a party? Can we come? Some journalists are even trailing off in the middle of their arti...... In other news, clouds are fluffy. Related Articles Tories sack HQ in further reshuffle 13 Nov 2003 Howard plans further downsizing of Tory Party 12 Nov 2003 BBC to sue Howard over alleged Dr Who rip-off 11 Nov 2003 Howard appoints Council of Elders, Sheriff of Nottingham 10 Nov 2003 Conservatives replace balding, unelectable leader with balding, unelectable leader 6 Nov 2003
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