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Country in total Tory denial
14 Nov 2003 by Samuel Gee
A curious phenomenon has been sweeping the country recently, un-noticed by nearly everyone, excluding journalists and cats. DeadBrain can exclusively reveal that the whole of the United Kingdom has simply blocked out the Tory party.
Thought to be an unforeseen consequence of the total saturation of the English media and satire world by the recent debacle involving Iain Duncan Smith, the man on the street has simply refused to recognise the Tory party, anyone belonging to it, and anyone associated with it.
DeadBrain's resident psychologist, Gregory T Mullet, has studied the issue in depth, and believes that it is related to the portion of the brain known as the "Dementia Maximus", which is involved in fooling the brain on a daily basis.
"The DM is the part of the brain that tells you that England could win the World Cup, that George Bush isn't a strategically shaved monkey – you know, the really stupid lies that we all just believe. It seems to have taken on denying the Tory party now, however. It's strange though - there normally are at least 50% of the population who cannot see the lies that the DM creates due to a gullibility deficiency, but this time only journalists and cats are able to see through it."
The denial of all things boring – sorry, Tory - has remarkably resulted so far in no apparent injuries or deaths. It is also unknown why cats and journalists are exempt, although it is believed to be their incredible hostility to the Tories that has saved them.
Even journalists are now losing the ability to remember the party. Party? Who's having a party? Can we come? Some journalists are even trailing off in the middle of their arti......
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