Nice breakfast with Dook of Ellington and Queen, but still hankering after a steak. Told Dook I could fit all of U of K in my Texas ranch. He said why didn't I bugger off back to it, then, to look after it. What a nice guy, thinking of other peeple like that. Must ask what bugger means, though, as he says it a lot. Maybe the Prince of Charles will know.

Invited them to the ranch for Chrissmas but Queen said maybe some other time, she would be busy that day washing her jewels.

Figgered out how to use Limey phone so tried calling Donny but he wasn't in.

Visited Westminster Abbey. Some guy said it was nearly 1000 years old. I said in that case why didn't they knock it down and put up something more modern, that's what we would do in Texas. Didn't quite catch the reply.

Spent an hour or so with Terry Blair. Talked mostly about his annual performance review. Told him he'd done a good job, and thanked him for all his help over Iraq, but I said I could only give him a B+ this year as he still had some work to do on tax cuts for the rich. Explaned to him that rich peeple don't need social services so they shouldn't have to pay for them through taxes. He didn't seem to get that but said he would talk about it to some guy called Brown. Terry's a nice guy but not too swift on the ekonomics.

Told him I might need his support next year if I have to liberate some other Arab country to boost my ratings for the election. Might not be able to count on Jeb this time. He said OK, no problem, whatever I wanted, just ask.

On the way back to Buckingham Castle lots of peeple out, carrying signs that said "Stop, Bush". I would've loved to have done what they were asking for and stopped to chat with them but Jerry, my driver, said we were on a tight skedyal and couldn't. So I just waved to them instead. Most waved back with the V for victory sign, I think it was. I really appreshiate their support for our effort in Iraq.

Before dinner tried to make a list of peeple I'd met who should go on the Chrissmas card list. Terry's already on it, of course, but I should add Queen and Dook, that baldheaded guy I met yesterday whose name I forget - the one that looks like a vampire - and that Kennedy guy, even though I didn't understand a word he said.

Bankwet at our embassy tonight. Finally got a steak but security guy said I shouldn't eat it because it might have come from a mad cow, so he et it. Managed not to choke on anything.

Later on, went back to Buckingham Castle. The Prince of Charles came with us. Had a frendly argument with him about which of us has the biggest and stickingest-out ears. Decided to call it a tie in the interests of innernational diplomassy.

Queen in a rage. Seems someone had found the bones from that wierd looking rabbit we barbecued the other night and the ones our security guys shot. "They're corgis you bloody moron" she screamed and went off to bed in a huff.

Later on, seeing as it was our last night, I went out on the back veranda with some of the security guys to toss a football around. They got into the beer and got a bit rowdy until Queen shouted at us from her window to shut up and go to bed, and said she didn't want to have to tell us again. She sure looks different without her teeth, and with curlers in her hair and her face all covered in cream.

Went to bed. Laura asleep, but I think she was only pretending. Tried calling Donny again but still no answer.