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Sun to launch broadsheet edition
1 Dec 2003 by Flash Gorman
The Sun newspaper has announced its attention to swim against the current trend of newspaper fashion. As broadsheets such as the Independent and the Times are launching tabloid editions, the Sun is gearing up to launch a broadsheet version of its well-respected news journal.
Ever-popular tyrant Rupert Murdoch explained the thinking behind the new format.
"As always, it's about tits first and foremost. When we originally launched The Sun, our models' breasts were a lot smaller. Even the big ones were quite frankly not that big. Of course these days, with the advent of silicone implants and some selective inbreeding in counties such as Essex, breasts are a lot bigger than they used to be. The big ones are massive and the massive ones are bloody terrifying.
"So we're hoping that the change in format will give our readers the breasts they deserve. That is to say we want to give them pictures of breasts, not actual breasts obviously."
With top TV lack of personality Jordan pencilled in for the broadsheet launch, the Sun is trailblazing a new publishing format called SmotherRama™. In this exciting new innovation, the page three girl will be replaced with a page two and three girl. With one breast printed on each page, the avid newsfan will be able to place their head directly between the two pages and then wrap it around their heads to experience the SmotherRama™ effect.
In addition Mr Murdoch pointed out that the new format will give his writers room for even more hard hitting, well researched news stories – or possibly just more pictures of tits.
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How cool is this?
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