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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · George W Bush |
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| You are standing next to: Home > News | 4th December |
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 Disappointed Bush makes own advent calendar 4 Dec 2003 Disappointed with instructions from his advisers that he is "too old" to be bought an advent calendar and that buying one himself would be embarrassing, President Bush has made his own. In an astonishing display of hitherto unheard-of creativity, Mr Bush pocketed felt-tip pens, crayons and glitter during visits to schools, children's homes and crèches over a period of weeks and then locked himself in his office to work on his masterpiece. Christmas is, White House sources say, one of Mr Bush's favourite times of year, so it is not surprising to see that he has decorated his advent calendar with symbols of festivity and copious amounts of glitter, much of which stuck to our source's scanner. "The President spent hours and hours on his advent calendar," said our source. "I think he's really proud of it, but he obviously doesn't want anyone to see it – he even stamped it to say so." Our source, a White House cleaner, discovered Mr Bush's work taped underneath his desk in the Oval Office. "I've worked here for years and after Clinton I always check under the desk to see what's there," she said. "For once I got a pleasant surprise – normally with Mr Bush it's just chewing gum." The calendar was returned, apparently without Mr Bush noticing, within hours. "I didn't want to disappoint him, he's just like a big kid. I bet he still believes in Santa," the cleaner said. "When I checked again the next day he'd stuck some chocolate behind it and opened some of the doors. It'd be kinda cute if he wasn't the most powerful man in the world." Surprisingly, and even more imaginatively, Mr Bush's advent calendar has the theme of Iraq. There are only a few soldiers on it, but, in a move that will anger opponents of the war in Iraq, a possible reference to oil – Mr Bush has marked buried treasure with a large cross. Update A White House spokesman with chocolate round his mouth refused to comment on reports that Mr Bush's calendar has been stolen as a result of this article and a $10m reward issued for its return.
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