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British justice "best in the world" says vicious slum landlord released on technicality
8 Dec 2003 by Joey Sarajevo
Thuggish "property developer" Nicholas Van Hoogstraten is celebrating tonight after having successfully overturned the manslaughter conviction recorded against him following the death of his business rival Mohammed Raja.
"This is a triumph for British justice," said a figure close to the vicious little bastard, who in no way sounds rather as though he should be a Dutch homosexual porn star getting his rectum painfully stretched on a regular basis by a string of burly plumbers. "Just as the lack of rent controls which allowed him to make millions from exploiting the poorest and most needy elements of society by housing them in filthy and dangerous properties are a triumph of British free market economics."
Mr Van Hoogstraten was jailed for ten years when a jury accepted that he had paid £7,000 to one Robert Knapp and asked him to "teach [Mr Raja] a lesson". Mr Knapp and an associate, David Croke, stabbed Mr Raja five times and shot him at point blank range in the face with a shotgun.
In quashing the verdict, Judge Sir Steven Mitchell accepted the argument put forward by Mr Van Hoogstraten's defence team that he could not have known the attack would lead to Mr Raja's death. It was possible, for example, that the retired businessman was in fact the last son of a doomed planet, and could only have been harmed by Kryptonite buckshot not generally available to Irish hitmen. Alternatively, Knapp and Croke could have misinterpreted Van Hoogstraten's instructions and given Mr Raja a short but thorough course in the basics of algebra.
As a result, ruled Justice Mitchell, it was not permissible under British law for a jury to convict Mr Van Hoogstraten of manslaughter. On the other hand, it was permissible for Mr Van Hoogstraten to give a large sum of money to someone he met in prison, issue vaguely threatening instructions and get away more or less scot free.
Mr Raja's sons were appalled by the court's decision. "They feel let down by the justice system," said a family friend. "How can it be legal for a man with forty-four convictions for letting out dwellings unfit for human habitation to make a fortune from housing benefit money? Oh, hold on, that was their Dad."
Mr Van Hoogstraten, 58, achieved notoriety when he referred to tenants killed in a fire as "lowlife, drug dealers, drug addicts and queers - scum". Several of those "scum" questioned by DeadBrain appeared to bear him little animosity, however, expressing the hope that he would undergo an educational experience sometime in the near future.
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Oi, down here!
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