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| You have been flattened by: Home > News | 4th December |
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Cheney found alive and well 16 Dec 2003 by Malcolm Drury US Vice President Dick "Head" Cheney has been found, alive and well. He had been missing for over two years, since he left Washington for an undisclosed location following the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, and then disappeared. US marines found Mr Cheney earlier today, hiding in a tree in the heavily wooded mountainous region of West Virginia, after they received word of a sighting by a squirrel hunter. He had a heavy beard and long, unkempt hair, and was dressed in tattered clothes that appeared to be covered with bark and grass. Lieut. Cletus K. Ramsbottom Jr., a spokesman for the marines, told reporters that Mr Cheney gave himself up without a struggle. He gave his name when challenged, and was told that President Bush sent him his regards. After being checked by a military medical officer, and a mouth swab taken for purposes of DNA confirmation of identity, Mr Cheney was taken to a local military base for interrogation. Lt. Ramsbottom said that the Vice President appeared to be in good health, although he was slightly emaciated and appeared disoriented and confused. "The VP was armed with a thick hickory stick when found," he said, "but he did not attempt to use it." The question of Mr Cheney's whereabouts has dogged the Bush administration since his disappearance. There have been some reported sightings, including at a hotdog stand in Possum Springs, Virginia, and several of a "wild man" in the mountains of West Virginia, but none had previously been confirmed. Although there have been some public appearances of persons represented as Mr Cheney, it had been widely suspected that they were merely look-alikes whose role was to deflect attention from the fact that the Vice President was actually missing. Lt. Ramsbottom said that it appeared that Mr Cheney had been living for some time at the location at which he was found. "We found the remains of several fireplaces, a shelter made of branches and leaves and daubed with mud, and lots of small animal bones," he said. "And he had made himself a rudimentary banjo," he added. The White House later issued a statement saying President Bush looked forward to Mr Cheney's return to Washington for urgent talks regarding contracts for the rebuilding effort in Iraq.
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