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  Christmas 2003
Santa shot down in US airspace
Officials at the Pentagon have apologised to Father Christmas after he was a victim of so-called friendly fire. Mr Christmas, 3278, was making a final test flight ahead of Wednesday's big night when his sleigh was downed by an American fighter plane. He was apparently hit by an Air-to-Beard missile – one of the latest weapons in the War on Terror™.

Fortunately Mr Christmas was able to survive the crash as he is an Anthropomorphic Personification but nevertheless he pronounced himself as "well pissed off with the whole thing".

"It's hard enough trying to find enough PS2 dance mats to go around, without people shooting missiles at you," he raged "If I was the head of the US Air Force then I would be opening my stocking very carefully on Christmas morning."

A spokesman for the Pentagon admitted that they had made a mistake but commented that incidents of this nature are made almost inevitable by the constant rises in the national state of alert. "We're all kinda twitchy since President Bush raised the level of alert from 'Impending doom of a totally unspecified nature' to 'Sweet Jesus, we're all going to die in the next ten minutes'," he said.

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