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| You are standing next to: Home > News | 4th December |
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 Santa shot down in US airspace 23 Dec 2003 by Flash Gorman Officials at the Pentagon have apologised to Father Christmas after he was a victim of so-called friendly fire. Mr Christmas, 3278, was making a final test flight ahead of Wednesday's big night when his sleigh was downed by an American fighter plane. He was apparently hit by an Air-to-Beard missile – one of the latest weapons in the War on Terror™. Fortunately Mr Christmas was able to survive the crash as he is an Anthropomorphic Personification but nevertheless he pronounced himself as "well pissed off with the whole thing". "It's hard enough trying to find enough PS2 dance mats to go around, without people shooting missiles at you," he raged "If I was the head of the US Air Force then I would be opening my stocking very carefully on Christmas morning." A spokesman for the Pentagon admitted that they had made a mistake but commented that incidents of this nature are made almost inevitable by the constant rises in the national state of alert. "We're all kinda twitchy since President Bush raised the level of alert from 'Impending doom of a totally unspecified nature' to 'Sweet Jesus, we're all going to die in the next ten minutes'," he said. Related Articles Elves sacked in Lapland porn shocker 22 Dec 2003 EU to ban Santa Claus 20 Dec 2003 Christmas Carols: O liberated town of Baghdad 19 Dec 2003 Retailers slam de-commercialisation of Christmas 19 Dec 2003 Disappointed Bush makes own advent calendar 4 Dec 2003
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