Sunday 21 Dissember
Bit worried by news from Libya that Gaddafi has decided to give up his weppons of mass destruction. We might need them WMDs next year if the election campaign doesn't go well. Can't really use Saddam this time. Talked to Ashcroft and Donny and they said don't worry, there are lots of other countries with WMDs that we could liberate if nessassery, there's lots of time, we can still use the Bush Doctrin, besides Gadaffi still has to deliver.

Dick Cheney and his wife came to dinner. Asked him what doctrin means but he said don't worry about it, my job (mine, I mean, not his) is not to bother with the details, leave that to the experts.

Monday 22 Dissember
Tom Ridge called round while we were having dinner, Laura said get out, come back when we've finished eating, I'm sick and tired of peeple coming in and out like they owned the place. But I said no, let him in, it's just Tom. He said he'd heard that Al Kayda is planning to attack the US of A again, I said bring him on but he said no, that's not what we want. He said he had raised the terror alert to orange. I can never remember what the kolors mean, I think orange means proceed with corshun, or is it no left turn?

Toosday 23 Dissember
Had a grate idea, go on nashnal TV and blame Saddam for the earthquake in California, say he has a secrit weppon like that guy in that Superman movie. Donny said he didn't think we would get away with that and in any case Saddam had been caught. I'd forgotten that I went into his hole last week and caught him. So I said how about blaming either bin Laden or Al Kayda and Donny said no, forget it. So I said could I fly to California in a fighter jet and serve some turkeys to help out like I did in Iraq but Donny said no, they didn't need any more turkeys getting in the way, and besides Arnie was handling that side of things. Sometimes I wonder whose side Donny is on.

Wensday 24 Dissember
Somebody phoned to say a mad cow has been found in Washington State. I said what's it mad about but whoever it was on the phone just kinda snorted and hung up. Sheesh, there must be a lot of cows that are upset, sheep too, what's the big deal. Talked to Donny about it and he explaned what it was. I said OK, can we blame this on Al Kayda or bin Laden, Americans have forgotten about Iraqish WMDs and I don't want them to forget about the terrorists, and he said maybe, let's just wait and see.

Got a phone call from Terry Blair, wished me happy Chrismass and said if there was anything he could do for me in 2004 just to let him know. I said thanks, and give my love to Sherry. Maybe I should give him a pay raise next year.

Thersday Dissember 25 Chrismass
Yippee, finally Chrismass. Couldn't sleep, what with being excited and also thinking about Sherry Blair so got up at 4 in the a of m and went downstairs to see what Santa had brung.

Started to open presents but each time I did the security guys took them away and said they would have to be checked. They said that last Chrismass and I still haven't got things back, well not the choclit anyway. They did say I could keep the new badges for my flight suit, one was for the Iraqish campane for when I visited the troops over there a couple of weeks ago and the other just said thanks for everything, Fox News, and they let me keep the "Where's Waldo and his WMDs?" book that Donny gave me.

Gave Laura a case of aspirins and hope she takes the hint.

Friday 26 Dissember
Boo! Chrismass is over. Maybe I'll make a law that we can have it more times a year.

Spent most of the day looking for Waldo's WMDs but couldn't find any. Phoned Donny to ask him to come over and help but he said sorry, no, it was just a joke, Waldo don't have any WMDs. I said yeah, pull a stunt like that again and you'll be over in Iraq personly to find Saddam's wepons, he won't tell us where they are. Donny always gets upset when I beat him at snap like I did a coupla weeks ago.

Somebody from the Agriculture Department phoned to say lots of countries have banned American beef because of that mad cow, well they'd better think again or they'll have a mad president to deal with.