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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · David Cameron |
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| You are slobbering over: Home > News | 4th December |
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 Bush tries to swap mad cows for magic beans 31 Dec 2003 The White House has today denied reports that President Bush tried to swap the entire US cow stock for a bag of magic beans in the wake of the BSE crisis. According to sources close to Mr Bush, he met a friend of Donald Rumsfeld at a recent drinks party who offered to solve the three major problems of BSE, world hunger and next year's re-election campaign. "This guy Rumsfeld knew said he'd take all of the cows off the President's hands, so that would solve BSE, and in exchange he'd give him enough magic beans to solve all the famines in Africa, with some left over for the Middle East, thus making the President the most popular man in history," said our man by the bar. "The President thought it was a brilliant idea and signed a contract with the guy in his best handwriting." However, when Mr Bush took the bag of magic beans back to the White House, aides gently informed him that he had been had. "It was very uncomfortable," our source said. "He threw the beans out of the window and went off in a sulk for the night while we sent some guys round to get the contract back." When asked by our reporter if Mr Bush had attempted to swap mad cows for magic beans, a spokesman simply said: "Oh no he didn't," adding that al Qaeda might be training golden geese of mass destruction and that the beanstalk would be gone by the morning. Related Articles McDonald's launches new "Mad Mac" burger 24 Dec 2003 Mad cow panic! Bush mines fields, bombs abattoirs 24 Dec 2003
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