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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · John Prescott |
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| You just walked into: Home > News | 5th September |
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 More flights cancelled as terror fears grow5 Jan 2004 by Flash Gorman
As George W Bush turns the dial on his paranoia amplifier to 11, yet more flights have been cancelled throughout the civilised world, and also in America.
Disappointed music lovers were last night turned away from a performance of the Flight of the Valkyrie in Covent Garden. The show's director was forced to cancel the performance after the FBI learnt that there might have been someone on the crowd who "had a moustache and looked a bit foreign". There were also angry scenes at the Darts World Cup in Lakeside, when armed police stormed the building and confiscated all the flights from the darts players. An outbreak of violence was only narrowed averted when the super-fit athletes were unable to pursue the police for more than a dozen yards. On a similar note, school children throughout America are facing a dull time after all flights of fancy were grounded until further notice. Once again the FBI were reacting to an unspecified threat of a non-specific nature. An FBI spokesman explained that they were unable to say what the threat was but hinted that it was "pretty threatening". He was also unable to specify when the threat might occur other than to say that it "was most likely to be at some point in the future as otherwise it'd already be on the news". There was, however, some good news for the beleaguered security forces when it was discovered that the recent Egyptian plane crash was not due to terrorism. Whoops of delight could be plainly heard at the Pentagon as the news came in that it was most likely just good old-fashioned plane crash as a result of poor maintenance and/or general incompetence, something that must surely offer a crumb of comfort to the bereaved relatives. Related Articles Pentagon releases details of Guantanamo trials protocols 3 Dec 2003 Bush blames Saddam Hussein for solar storm 25 Oct 2003 Rumsfeld seeks UK help in target-setting and performance metrics 24 Oct 2003 Bush: Newly-discovered star part of Axis of Evil 10 Oct 2003 Guantanamo Bay interpreters suspected of Comical Ali influence 7 Oct 2003
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