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| You are drifting somewhere near: Home > News | 30th July |
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 Blair pays surprise visit to traffic wardens7 Jan 2004 by Malcolm Drury
In a move apparently designed to capitalise on his recent visit to British troops in Iraq, Prime Minister Tony Blair yesterday paid a surprise visit to a group of traffic wardens in Bootle. He was accompanied by a retinue of reporters and photographers who had been sworn to prior secrecy. The PM used the visit to re-affirm the government's commitment to discuss new proposals to increase the powers of traffic wardens, in order to help them in their fight against traffic terrorism.
Dressed casually in shirtsleeves and tie-less, in spite of the near-freezing temperature and fog, Mr. Blair addressed the wardens, estimated by police to be six in number, during their "twoses" break between the lunch and mid-afternoon breaks. He praised them for their participation in a "noble and good cause", that of the war on illegal parking, and told them that they are "the new pioneers of traffic wardening" in that war, defending the nation against the dual threats of over-time parking and parking on double yellow lines. "You know how passionately I believe in the wisdom of the cause to establish parking stability," he told them. "I believe with every fibre of my being, with every sinew, that this struggle is right and just and that it will be won," he added, "and it will be people like you who will win it." He said that the government had conclusive evidence that al-Qaeda and other terrorist groups were plotting to cause massive traffic congestion by stalling cars in box junctions, parking perpendicular to the side of the road, and attempting three-point turns in roundabouts. "We know that they can deploy a Honda Civic in a matter of 45 minutes or less," he said. Warden Douglas Ramsbottom seemed slightly bemused when asked by DeadBrain for his opinion of Mr. Blair's visit. "Well, I'm not really sure what it was all about," he said, "but we certainly welcome any new powers we can get. We need teeth in parking laws. Frankly, with some motorists the only solution is a swift kick up the backside, and I hope Blair will see fit to let us do that without fear of recrimination." Michael Howard, current leader of the Tories, told our reporter that Mr. Blair's visit to Bootle was just a cheap gimmick, one that should be beyond the dignity of a credible leader. Mr. Howard added that he would soon be going on the road with his "I Believe" tour, and offered our reporter a tour T-shirt at a special discount price. Our reporter declined the offer, excused himself, and left. In related news, British Airways were fined £50 today for illegally parking a 747 on a runway at Heathrow Airport. The airline is to appeal the fine on the grounds that the flight, BA223 to Washington, was delayed by US officials and the alleged illegal parking was therefore due entirely to circumstances beyond its control. Related Articles More flights cancelled as terror fears grow 5 Jan 2004 Pentagon releases details of Guantanamo trials protocols 3 Dec 2003 Bush blames Saddam Hussein for solar storm 25 Oct 2003 Rumsfeld seeks UK help in target-setting and performance metrics 24 Oct 2003 Bush: Newly-discovered star part of Axis of Evil 10 Oct 2003
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