| |
Rusedski tests positive for being Canadian
9 Jan 2004 by poetscientistdrinker
Greg Rusedski, the second best tennis player in Britain (ranked 1256 in the world), today admitted that he has tested positive for being Canadian after a random test.
Allegations about Rusedski's nationality had been circulating for some time amongst the tennis community and these rumours appear to be confirmed following a test on a sample given by Mr Rusedski to the authorities.
"Tests on a sample provided by Mr Rusedski reveal elevated levels of Alanis Morrisette, Bryan Adams and Celine Dion in his music collection, thereby indicating him to be Canadian," said Dr Douglas Ramsbottom. "Frankly, to listen to this crap he must be on some kind of drugs."
Gregory T Mullet, the new performance director of the Lawn Tennis Association, expressed his disbelief at the revelations: "Frankly, we never suspected somebody like Greg could possibly be anything other than British. He certainly lost often enough."
Greg Rusedski is thought unlikely to have been taking anything to improve his sporting performance.
Log in to read/write comments on this article
Hey, look at this!
|
|
