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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · John Prescott |
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| You have been disturbed by: Home > News | 6th September |
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 Bush identifies climate change as new terror threat10 Jan 2004 by Matt Knight
President Bush has spoken of his determination to defeat the new and bigger threat to world peace and stability – climate change.
Bush made his announcement at a White House press conference yesterday. He said that a group calling itself "Climate Change" is "intent on wreaking death and destruction on an unimaginable scale". "Intelligence reports have linked the group – also known as 'Global Warming' – to random acts of terrorism in environments all over the world," he continued. Leaning one arm on his lectern and smirking he declared: "We will defecate on them". Later on, in an address to the nation, Bush again vowed to defecate on what he described as "an evil and morally repugnant regime, whose policy of releasing deadly greenhouse gases at will, showed them to be a remorseless murderer of ordinary citizens and a genuine threat to the future of the world." He described their leader, thought to be a Chinese dissident who he claims is called Elnino Tsunami, as a man who is dangerous and out of control. "Unless we stop him now, he will continue to whip up ghastly storms that make flying even more hazardous." This evening, critics rounded on President Bush describing him as one of the biggest natural disasters ever to have occurred, whose deadly use of syntax has already began to infect other world leaders – namely Tony Blair. Related Articles Mixed reaction to new Civil Contingencies Bill 8 Jan 2004 US to require urine samples from visitors 7 Jan 2004 Blair pays surprise visit to traffic wardens 7 Jan 2004 More flights cancelled as terror fears grow 5 Jan 2004 Pentagon releases details of Guantanamo trials protocols 3 Dec 2003
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