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| You are slobbering over: Home > News | 18th March |
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 Bush orders pre-emptive strike against Yorkshire12 Jan 2004 by Malcolm Drury
In a shocking admission from the US occupying power in Britain, DeadBrain has learned that President "Boy" George W. Bush last week ordered the US air force to launch a pre-emptive strike against an alleged terrorist cell in Yorkshire.
An F-15E Strike Eagle from RAF Lakenheath, a base operated by the US air force, dropped a bomb over farmland near Market Weighton in East Yorkshire. There were no human casualties, but four cows and a sheep were killed, a chicken was seriously injured, and a tractor and plough were destroyed. Approached by our investigative reporter, a US Air Force spokesman, who said he could not give his name for security reasons, initially said that the incident was an accident, that the jet was carrying out a training mission at the time of the incident, and that the bomb was a dummy. However, local farmer Douglas Ramsbottom told our reporter that it was no accident. "Yon plane flew ower t'field three times afore droppin' its bomb, ba gum," he said. "T'were deliberate, not an accident." Mr Ramsbottom's observation was confirmed by another local resident, who asked to remain anonymous. It appears that the jet did indeed make a number of passes over the field, finally releasing a bomb that exploded with a loud explosion and produced a great deal of smoke. When confronted with the eyewitness accounts the US Air Force spokesman later rescinded his original statement and admitted to our reporter that the raid was a live one, undertaken at the order of his president. He said the Pentagon had received intelligence from one of the CIA agents in the area that a group of men dressed in bizarre, all-white uniforms had been seen congregating in a field near the farm on a spring-like afternoon and participating in odd activities that appeared to involve throwing round grenades to each other, and knocking them around with what appeared to be flat pieces of wood. "It sure looked like terrorists, probably followers of some cult, practicing some kind of attack," he said, "possibly trying out a new way of lobbing grenades around. We couldn't take any chances." He was unable to explain why the bomb had apparently missed its "terrorist cell" target, other than to say that some of the smart weapons seemed to be a bit temperamental from time to time. A Downing Street spokesman, also speaking on condition of anonymity, later told reporters that while Her Majesty's government regretted the incident it fully endorsed Mr Bush's right to pre-emptive self-defence, even in the UK. Meanwhile, East Yorkshire police are investigating the mysterious disappearance of Mr Ramsbottom, who was last seen being ushered into a large black car with tinted windows by four burly men wearing sunglasses, in spite of the heavy rain. Related Articles Bush identifies climate change as new terror threat 10 Jan 2004 Mixed reaction to new Civil Contingencies Bill 8 Jan 2004 US to require urine samples from visitors 7 Jan 2004 Blair pays surprise visit to traffic wardens 7 Jan 2004 More flights cancelled as terror fears grow 5 Jan 2004
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