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| You have been flattened by: Home > News | 6th October |
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 "Royal" terror cell was active in Yorkshire, says US13 Jan 2004 by poetscientistdrinker
The US Air Force today expanded on the reasons behind its shock pre-emptive strike on Yorkshire, claiming that it was a "hotbed of terrorist activity". A senior source revealed to DeadBrain further details about the bombing, which was carried out on the direct orders of President Bush.
"During his stay with the Queen, the president was invited one afternoon to watch the BBC, as the Queen felt it would 'provide challenging entertainment' for him. President Bush was shocked to see propaganda being broadcast for the terrorist organisation 'Ry al-Mayl'," explained our source. The propaganda apparently included a broadcast from a man who "talked funny" and had a moustache, which, according to Mr Bush, is the easiest way to identify "evil folks". The president also witnessed that the man, identified only as "Postman Pat", owned a cat – which he knew from his extensive knowledge of terror networks and Bond films to be another sign of "evil-doing" intent. "Further observations by President Bush revealed that this 'Pat' was delivering parcels – presumably containing anthrax – and that he had a training camp in the village of Greendale, run by the secretive 'Mrs Goggins'," our source continued. President Bush then ordered an immediate strike on Yorkshire, but due to persistent cloud the operation only recently became possible. "This action sends out a clear message to other organisations, such as the 'Talitubbies' and the England cricket team, both of whom he has also seen on British TV," added the source. In Britain, Tony Blair has been supportive of the American action. "Well, you know, I'm a straight forward kinda guy, and I've seen whole books - 'dossiers' - if you will, that, er, you know, prove the existence of this 'Pat' and his evil schemes," he said in a radio interview. "And hey, people say to me 'Tony, these are works of fiction', but I say to you – would I lie? You have to trust us on this, and anyway, George has promised to leave Emmerdale alone, even if they do blow up air liners." British intelligence suggests that 'Ry al-Mayl' are unable to deliver weapons of mass destruction (or indeed anything else) within 45 days, no matter how many first class stamps you put on them. Related Articles Bush orders pre-emptive strike against Yorkshire 12 Jan 2004 Bush identifies climate change as new terror threat 10 Jan 2004 Mixed reaction to new Civil Contingencies Bill 8 Jan 2004 US to require urine samples from visitors 7 Jan 2004 Blair pays surprise visit to traffic wardens 7 Jan 2004
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