| |
Expert group declares toasters safe
15 Jan 2004 by Malcolm Drury
A report issued today by an expert group of scientists, beekeepers and astrologers has declared toasters safe to use, but has cautioned against the use of electric irons.
The group, headed by Professor Douglas Ramsbottom of the University of Bootle, has spent three years examining a number of alleged hazards from toaster use, including fire, electrocution, triggering a nuclear holocaust, addiction to toast, and the release of fine particles of burnt crumbs into the environment.
The Ramsbottom Report states: "The weight of evidence now available does not suggest that there are adverse health affects from prolonged toaster use." It concludes that with careful use according to instructions, none of these or other potential hazards is sufficiently serious as to warrant a ban on toasters.
Some experts have claimed that fine, carbonised crumbs emitted by toasters may be linked to headaches, sleeping disorders, tennis elbow, Toryism and being addicted to watching the Teletubbies. The Report notes that the expert group found no evidence to substantiate any of these claims.
It does, however, recommend a precautionary approach, particularly with the possible fire and electrocution hazards, and suggests that toasters be monitored at all times while plugged in and switched on. It cautions against sticking a knife or fork into a toaster to retrieve fallen bread while the toaster is plugged in, and suggests that in future manufacturers be required to put a large warning label on new toasters saying "Caution: gets very hot when used".
The Report says that part of the group's remit was to study potential health hazards associated with the use of electric irons. It finds no conclusive evidence of any such hazards but notes that this is a preliminary observation. More work is required in this area, and in the meantime the Report recommends iron use be restricted to no more than 20 minutes per week.
Brenda Shuttleworth, chairwoman of the feminist organisation Campaign for Real Women, told DeadBrain that while she welcomed the news about toasters, there was "no way" she or any of her members was going to going to give up her iron. "No dear," she said, "I've been ironing my husband's socks for the past twenty years and I'm not giving it up now."
Log in to read/write comments on this article
Oi, down here!
|
|
