 |
|
|
| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · David Blunkett |
|
 |
|
| You just fell over: Home > News | 30th July |
| |
|
 Hutton clears government, finds BBC guilty of murder, spin-doctors say28 Jan 2004
The Hutton Report will today clear Tony Blair of all responsibility in the death of government scientist Dr David Kelly, DeadBrain has been told by sources on the Sun. The sources, who emphatically have not had the Report leaked to them by Downing Street spin-doctors, showed our plumbing correspondent key sections of the leaked document, which apparently shows that Mr Blair did nothing wrong and is a "wonderful person".
The BBC, meanwhile, is apparently guilty of murder, high treason, grossly misleading the public, failing in its duty as a public service broadcaster, competing with News Corp (which owns the Sun), not being as good as Sky News (also owned by News Corp), causing the government to almost lose last night's tuition fees vote because of "biased and inaccurate reporting", and, bizarrely, colluding with Clare Short in her "one-woman campaign to force the entire nation to wear burkhas". "What is clear from this Report is that the BBC should hang its head in shame," the alleged newspaper's leader column said. "Gilligan has blood on his hands and it seems likely that he, together with fellow left-wing loonies at the BBC, manufactured false evidence against a government that took a brave decision to embark on a fully-justified war. It does not take too big a leap to realise that it was probably the BBC, with its army of anti-war 'journalists', that scoured Iraq after the war and removed all evidence of WMD in a shameful attempt to embarrass the government." "Tony Blair did nothing to deserve the criticism the Biased Broadcasting Corporation dished out to it and it was only thanks to Gilligan and his cronies in senior management that poor David Kelly died," it continued in its ten-page rant, adding that the BBC should be abolished, Gilligan put on trial and senior management lined up and shot. The government, Dr Kelly's family, the BBC and its two reporters involved in the Hutton Inquiry all received advanced copies of the Report, which will be released to the public later today. All were required to sign confidentially agreements to ensure that the report was not leaked. Following last night's leak to the Sun, a senior Downing Street figure sent an email to all staff requesting that they confirm that they were not responsible. Once all of the replies had been received, he told staff that he was confident that Downing Street was "100% leak-free", in an email that was forwarded to DeadBrain approximately two minutes later. Related Articles Hutton Inquiry rules on BBC "propaganda" 26 Jan 2004 Blair released on bail after WMD hoax 21 Jan 2004 New armed forces equipment shortage scandal 20 Jan 2004 Date not announced for report into deaths of Iraqi civilians 15 Jan 2004 16:25 BBC to ban journalists from reporting news 16 Dec 2003
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |
| Copyright ©2001-2009 DeadBrain. All rights reserved violently. | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Sheep |