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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Tony Blair |
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| You have been drawn towards: Home > News | 19th March |
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 Blunkett promises to crush terrorists with new powers3 Feb 2004 by Joe Dent
The Home Secretary, David Blunkett, wants new super anti-terrorism laws to make it easier to execute British terror suspects.
Whereas in the past a barrel of proof was needed to convict a terror suspect, and at the moment a kilderkin is required, Mr Blunkett wants a small sherry glass of proof to be sufficient to have a terror suspect hung, drawn and quartered. Under his proposals, anyone suspected of committing a terrorist act, or thinking of committing a terrorist act, or reading about terrorism, or using the word "terrorist" in an e-mail, will be fairly tried in secret until found guilty. Evidence used in trials would also be kept secret to protect MI5, MI6, GCHQ, T. Blair and other shy parties. Anyone found guilty of leaking details of a trial would immediately be branded a terrorist. Several civil rights groups have expressed outrage at the proposals. One group even suggested Mr Blunkett resign before he made a complete ass of himself. This group is now being investigated for using the words "terrorist", "terrorism" and "terrible". Related Articles USA censures Taiwan over its WMD programme 29 Jan 2004 "Royal" terror cell was active in Yorkshire, says US 13 Jan 2004 Bush orders pre-emptive strike against Yorkshire 12 Jan 2004 Bush identifies climate change as new terror threat 10 Jan 2004 Mixed reaction to new Civil Contingencies Bill 8 Jan 2004
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