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  Why we went to war

Liberal Democrats to disrupt inquiry into Iraq's WMD

The Liberal Democrats, the government and opposition's opposition, have decided to boycott the forthcoming inquiry into Iraq's WMD. The decision comes after Charles Kennedy, the Lib Dem leader, concluded that it was all just a big waste of time.

While the government and opposition shout at each other in committee rooms, the Lib Dems plan to sit outside in the corridors, talking quietly amongst themselves. One Lib Dem MP told DeadBrain that he might occasionally put an ear to the door to hear what's going on.

But it is believed that the party will nevertheless make themselves heard. An insider told DeadBrain that several of their MPs will attend each committee meeting in disguise, and make rude noises at key moments. The noises, rumoured to be imitations of bodily functions, will be timed to coincide with any mention of the words "The Prime Minister", "WMD", "Hutton" and "intelligence".

Although Charles Kennedy fervently denies any plans to disrupt meetings, at least half a dozen of his MPs have been heard practising blowing raspberries in the House of Commons playground. Claims that the interruptions from the public gallery to today's debate on the Hutton Report also came from Liberal Democrats have been dismissed as well, since all of them were in the chamber at the time.

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