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| You just walked into: Home > News | 4th December |
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NHS to use understudies to lower costs, eliminate waiting lists4 Feb 2004 by Malcolm Drury
DeadBrain has learned of a government proposal to reduce NHS costs and eliminate waiting lists. And it comes from an unexpected source - the world of theatre.
According to Douglas McRamsbottom, an aide to Health Secretary John Reid, the idea came to Dr Reid when he read of an announcement by the Royal Shakespeare Company that understudies are to take the leading roles in cut-price performances. From April, there will be an understudy in a lead role in each new production of the season, including Shakespeare's Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet, and Hamlet, and a work by newcomer playwright Lord "I am satisfied" Hutton entitled "Tony Exonerated, or A Winter's Tall Tale." Tickets will cost no more than £5. Under Dr Reid's proposed new plan, medical students and trainee nurses would serve as stand-ins for highly-paid experienced physicians, surgeons and consultants and much less highly-paid nurses, performing the more routine procedures such as appendectomies, minor organ transplants and feeding data to health statistics compilers. Speaking to our reporter under a table at the "Cock and Bull", Mr McRamsbottom said, "Och, it's no' just aboot saving a few shillings, although that will be very welcome, mind, but it's also a grand way of reducing waiting lists. Mine's a double." He explained that there are many more medical students than there are qualified and experienced doctors in practice, so by putting them to work immediately treatment could be speeded up and all waiting lists be eliminated by Easter. It would also leave the experienced doctors with more time to spend on important matters such as explaining why targets had not been met, sailing and playing golf. An added bonus, noted Mr McRamsbottom, would be the fact that as the medical students and nurses are actually paying for their training, and would obviously not be paid as understudies, there would be a net cash inflow. He said that the experienced staff would still be available for more complex procedures, and patients would have the right to opt out of the fast-track scheme and wait to see a more qualified person. "But we could no' guarantee when," he said, noting that the sailing and golf season was just around the corner. "But for the vast majority of patients, and for the government, doctors and nurses, it's a win-win situation all round," he said, before passing out. Lord Hutton was unavailable for comment but an aide said he was sure his Lordship would be "satisfied" with the proposal.
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