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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · David Cameron |
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| You have fallen over: Home > News | 20th March |
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 Sad middle aged man in terror hoax9 Feb 2004 by Flash Gorman
A man described by the judge as attention seeking and a "bizarre fantasist" was jailed for six months at the High Court on Friday. Mr T Blair from Downing Street in London was in court facing charges concerning hoax claims about a terrorist threat.
In what has been the most serious of a number of fake terror scares, the court heard how Mr Blair claimed to have evidence of a "clear and present danger" from a Mr S Hussein of Iraq. The prosecution explained that, despite the clearly outlandish nature of Mr Blair's accusations, the Government was obliged to take them seriously. "The current climate of anxiety over terrorism means that every instance of a terrorist threat has to be investigated thoroughly no matter how unlikely it would appear to be," said the prosecution lawyer. "In this case, that involved sending a taskforce of some two hundred thousand soldiers to Iraq to search for these so called weapons of mass destruction invented by Mr Blair." "This action obviously caused a great deal of distress for Mr Hussein, not least being the slaughter of most of his relatives and his ousting from power. He was also really pissed off over his statue being knocked over and then touted on eBay," he continued. "It now seems inevitable that some form of damage claim will arrive on the doormat of Number 10. In addition there has been a great deal of expense incurred by the armed forces and of course there was the usual trauma created when they started blowing each other up by mistake." For his part Mr Blair started his defence by producing a detailed dossier that appeared to prove the menace threatened by Mr Hussein. Under cross-examination, however, he eventually admitted that the dossier was in fact a student thesis on garden pests. Mr Blair had simply gone through the document and replaced each reference to moles with "stupendous weapons of huge destruction". When questioned on his motives, Mr Blair explained that he had felt threatened by the successful career of his wife and simply wanted to make himself look "more important". In sentencing, the judge said that in many ways he felt sorry for Mr Blair and his obvious problems but the huge disruption caused by his false claims meant that a custodial sentence was unavoidable. When he was led away, Mr Blair lost his composure and started making further incredible claims, shouting that he could sort out the problems with the train network and that he was "really good with an electric guitar". Related Articles Blunkett promises to crush terrorists with new powers 3 Feb 2004 USA censures Taiwan over its WMD programme 29 Jan 2004 "Royal" terror cell was active in Yorkshire, says US 13 Jan 2004 Bush orders pre-emptive strike against Yorkshire 12 Jan 2004 Bush identifies climate change as new terror threat 10 Jan 2004 Mixed reaction to new Civil Contingencies Bill 8 Jan 2004
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