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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Boris Johnson |
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| You are just out of reach of: Home > News | 17th May |
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 Blair: Unemployed migrants to stand in corner24 Feb 2004 by Joe Dent
A tough-talking Tony Blair told a group of nursery children on Monday that he would not let this country become a haven for Johnny Foreigners unwilling to work.
Speaking to the group of three to five year olds, he made it clear that anyone entering the country without a job and thinking of claiming benefits would be made to stand in the corner. When one of the older children asked if foreigners were naughty, the prime minister nodded gravely. "I'm afraid some of them are. Some of them don't want to work. Some of them want to take your hard earned money away from you." As one of the younger children began to cry, Mr Blair continued: "But I won't let that happen. Me and my friend, Mr Blunkett, have thought of a way of getting rid of those nasty people." The children then cheered and clapped as Mr Blair grinned inanely and left the room as the bell rang. After playtime, Home Secretary David Blunkett took over from Mr Blair. He told the children that he was seriously considering sending those migrants who entered the country without a job or fortune back to wherever they came from. One of the enthusiastic children then raised his hand but Mr Blunkett didn't notice. When the child nevertheless asked an intelligent question about how all these migrants were to be monitored, Mr Blunkett was unable to explain as he had to leave to take his dog for a walk. At home time, as the children crossed the road outside school, DeadBrain asked the lollipop man, a Mr Iain Duncan Smith, what he thought of Blair and Blunkett's plans. "Sorry, guv. I really don't know anything about politics," he replied, adding that our reporter would be able to watch him talking about it with Johnny Vaughan, a man who knows nothing about making decent television programmes, on BBC Three this Friday. Related Articles Joan Collins forms new anti-EU pop group 19 Feb 2004 Blair welcomes "genuine" sun-seeking EU migrants 18 Feb 2004 New EU anti-spam law stops all spam in a day 11 Dec 2003 Mission to take Kinnock to moon blasts off 28 Sep 2003 Government to extend the requirements for wearing protective clothing 15 Aug 2003 Outrage over Brussels "straight railways" plan 10 Aug 2003
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