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First citizenship ceremonies sponsored by Daily Mail, get off to bad start
26 Feb 2004 by Matt Knight
The Government was facing fresh criticism today as their new, much-publicised "citizenship ceremonies" got off to a bad start amid claims that they weren't really that welcoming.
Sponsored by the Daily Mail, the ceremony was split into three parts. The first part required citizens to shake hands with what the Government has dubbed "The Best of British". The line of dignitaries included: Peter Andre, Jordan, Richard Desmond, Heat Magazine Editor Mark Frith, Mystic Meg, Laurence Llewelyn Bowen, Jim Davidson, Shane Ritchie and the cast of Hollyoaks.
Before swearing allegiance to Queen and Country the citizens were required to change into a morris dancer's costume, complete with wispy beard, socks with bells on and a stick. After entering the chamber to the strains of "Pump Up the Jam" by Technotronic, they were then handed a copy of the Daily Mail and duly sworn at. As they stepped off the podium, citizens were handed a goody bag.
Goodies included:- Signed photographs of Linda Lee-Potter and Simon Heffer
- Benny Hill video
- A range of Franklin Mint commemorative plates featuring Tony Blair dressed up as a polar bear, a Toby jug or a dinner lady.
- A sachet containing nostalgia
- A recording of the crowd at a Chelsea home match
- A "Sail to Calais for a Pound" voucher from The Sun
- CDs by Toploader and The Darkness
- DVD of the film Love, Honour and Obey.
Having received their new passports the new citizens were escorted to a helpdesk where Nicholas van Hoogstraten was on hand to answer any questions about housing.
Afterwards, the new citizens were invited to attend a luncheon at a Harvester pub across the road where jellied eels and scrumpy were served. The pub landlord, who had hairy cheeks and huge purple nose, "absolutely did not" say anything racist whatsoever.
Unconfirmed reports suggest that there is already a brisk trade in the plates which depict Tony Blair dressed up as a dinner lady.
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Wow, look at this!
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