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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Menzies Campbell |
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| You are misplaced along with: Home > News | 15th March |
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Blairs to star in new "public information" soap opera3 Mar 2004 by Malcolm Drury
Tony Blair and his wife Cherie are to be approached to star in a new soap opera to be launched in the autumn, DeadBrain has learned.
Douglas Ramsbottom, a scriptwriter of no fixed abode, told our reporter that the idea for yet another "soap" springs from an observation by Tessa Jowell, the Culture Secretary, that soap operas like EastEnders and Coronation Street are better than government information campaigns in conveying important social messages. He said that he had been approached by a formerly highly-placed Downing Street official very close to the Prime Minister to develop a scenario that would allow the government, and the PM in particular, to use the television soap medium to get its important messages across to the public. It appears that Mr Blair is seized with Ms Jowell's observation and feels that it can be used to his and the government's advantage. Mr Ramsbottom described the former official, whom he referred to only as "A", as having an overbearing, almost rude manner, and to be very demanding. "He certainly left me in no doubt as to what Downing Street is looking for," said Mr Ramsbottom. "I asked him if the new soap opera would be on BBC and he sort of snarled, turned very red and bit his pencil in two and said 'not until several billion years after hell has frozen over.'" He said it is too early to discuss the precise format of the new programme, but his early thoughts are that it could be a blend of an upscale EastEnders and Life with the Braithwaites, with hints of Emmerdale, all in a Downing Street setting. "But it won't be 'Yes, Prime Minister'," he said. "My instructions are very clear - nothing whatsoever that could make the PM and his government colleagues look stupid." "Except perhaps Clare Short," he added, without further explanation. Mr Ramsbottom went on to explain that he envisioned a generally serious approach, but with some snippets of light comedy, and the occasional deep drama. The soap would address issues of social concern such as crime, unemployment, asylum seekers, and Robin Cook. Its current working title is "It's the right thing to do", but that would probably change. He expected it would be on the air by the end of September this year, once a broadcaster that the government considered trustworthy had been found to carry it. "'A' told me that if they couldn't find one they would just take over that [expletive deleted] BBC," he said. He added that the hope was that the Blairs themselves would star in the programme. He noted that Tony Blair is a consummate actor, as evidenced by his performances in the House of Commons. "And showbiz is in Cherie Blair's blood, of course," he noted. Speaking from the bus being prepared for his soon-to-be launched "I Believe Spring Tour 2004", Michael Howard, the current interim leader of the Conservative Party and part-time evangelist, told our reporter that in his opinion this was all nothing more than crass attention-grabbing at public expense. He refused to deny a rumour that he had been in touch with Johnny Vaughan with a view to taking over from his alleged predecessor, Iain Duncan Smith, on Mr Vaughan's programme "Live at Johnny's".
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