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| You are disappointed to see: Home > News | 10th February |
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 Blair orders declassification of WMD briefing document12 Apr 2004 by Malcolm Drury
Prime Minister Tony Blair has ordered officials to declassify and release a secret briefing document on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction allegedly given to him some six months before the US-led invasion of Iraq began, DeadBrain has learned. In spite of the fact that coalition troops have been in Iraq over a year and no weapons of mass destruction have been found, Mr Blair has consistently asserted his firm belief that they will eventually be uncovered.
The order follows the declassification by the US administration of a briefing given to US President "Boy" George W. Bush a month before the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, a move that has been seen in some quarters as an attempt to deflect any criticism from Mr Bush for not taking firm action against al Qaeda. It is believed that the release of the British document is similarly intended to convince an increasingly sceptical public of the absolute rightness of Mr Blair's assertion and his use of it for justifying sending British troops to Iraq. The British document was apparently prepared jointly by MI6 and the hitherto unknown ultra-secret MI7, which, DeadBrain believes, has its headquarters in the cellar at 10 Downing Street. Thanks to a highly-placed official at Number 10, who asked to remain anonymous, DeadBrain is able to bring you an exclusive preview of the document, which, it is understood, will be released later this week to all media except the BBC, once Lord Hutton has had a chance to vet it. Dated October 2002 and bearing the title "WMD really do exist in Iraq, honest", the document begins: "Based on irrefutable intelligence from [blanked out], which has been equally irrefutably corroborated by [blanked out], it can be said categorically and without any reservation whatsoever that Saddam Hussein has for at least a decade been manufacturing weapons of mass destruction (WMD) and has huge stockpiles of such weapons in Iraq, including biological and chemical agents, long range missiles capable of reaching the UK in under 45 minutes, and a vast collection of Kylie Minogue CDs whose sole purpose seems to be to turn the population into zombies." "It is categorically certain that Saddam has provided WMD to al Qaeda and other terrorist groups, and that al Qaeda are planning major attacks on British establishments and institutions," it continues. "This has been completely verified by [blanked out] to our complete satisfaction." However, the Downing Street official was unable to explain a note at the end of the document that said "Hi, Tone. Is this what you want? What do you think of Beckham and his totty? Ludicrous, innit! Cheers, Al". Our reporter suggested that it appeared to refer to very recent events, thereby casting doubts on the authenticity of the document. "Well it's just a draft, I mean not fully checked for security issues yet," the official said, before hurriedly excusing himself. Related Articles Blair: Bugging UN "essential" for safety of Britain 26 Feb 2004 GCHQ translator unpunished for Iraq leak 26 Feb 2004 Bush nominated for Nobel Peace Prize, plus other Iraq award nominations 13 Feb 2004 Sceptics demand inquiry into Hutton Inquiry 5 Feb 2004 Liberal Democrats to disrupt inquiry into Iraq's WMD 4 Feb 2004
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