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Government IDea card pilot begins today
The first trial of the government's highly controversial IDea card began today in several idea-prone hotspots throughout the country. The government expects each of the 10,000 volunteers taking part in the trial to scribble a brief message on his or her card. Those who generate the most ridiculous and futile ideas will be selected to formulate future government policy.
Government spokesman Douglas Ramsbottom told DeadBrain that the cabinet ran out of ideas in 1998, and since that time it has been trying to come up with an idea on how to get ideas. Several idea ideas were put forward by ministers, usually late at night after a bottle or two of Glenfiddich, but the one favoured by Home Secretary David Blunkett is that of IDea cards.
The government hopes to eventually persuade everyone in the UK, including babies, to carry IDea cards in the hope of generating enough ideas to keep Labour in power for another five years. However, a fee of £35 (babies excluded) will no doubt put off many people. Gregory T Mullet, a MENSA spokesman, was outraged.
"Why on earth should one have to pay £35 for originating an idea? Does the government realise that if this fee were levied on every idea, the House of Commons would have to cough up £70 a year? It's disgraceful!"
Despite considerable opposition to IDea cards, Mr Blunkett says that they are as vital tomorrow as they were yesterday. He argues that as well as being a great source of ideas, the cards can also be used to fight terrorism and prevent illegal immigration.
Mr Blunkett explained: "It's as simple as this. Terrorists will write things such as 'Kill the bastard infidels' while illegal immigrants will write in a foreign language and therefore be easy to identify. I think the benefits far outweigh the costs."
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