|News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · David Blunkett|
|You don't remotely resemble: Home > News||20th June|
Mirror photo "a mish mash of arse pixels", possibly fake
2 May 2004 by Terence William HowardThe Mirror newspaper was today called upon to make available proof that the infamous 'wee-gate' photograph is authentic, and not - as some commentators have suggested - "a mish mash of arse pixels".
The now notorious photograph shows what appears to be a British soldier urinating on an Iraqi detainee. Prime Minister Tony Blair was reported to have been incensed, enraged, furious, angry, livid and beside himself at the photo. A source close to the thesaurus-wielding premier described Mr Blair's mood as "underpants".
In an astonishing development last night, the legitimacy of the photograph was thrown into doubt when an eagle-eyed crowd surfer from Stockport spotted an 'I love MUFC' tattoo on the arm of the alleged Iraqi prisoner. Greg 'eagle-eyed crowd surfer' Mullet told reporters, "Why the knackers would an Iraqi prisoner have 'I love MUFC' tattooed on his arm? Surely only cockneys have those".
Professor Douglas Ramsbottom, founder of the respected Photographic Analysis Institute, declined to comment on the issue, although he issued a statement which strongly suggested that the photograph was indeed a photograph. This claim was later rubbished by unknown pensioner Edna Thropple of Newmarket who suggested that although the photograph appeared to be a photograph, it could well be something more sinister. When pressed on this issue Mrs Thropple was unable to provide any evidence and will be rubbished throughout the media tomorrow.
The release of the British photograph came only days after an American TV network aired pictures of US servicemen and women "taking the Mickey" out of Iraqi prisoners. President George W Bush promised a complete investigation into the matter, stating: "Mickey-taking is not only wrong, in the state of California it is illegal. If you take Mickey you not only harm the Disney Corporation, you upset Minnie and Goofy as well. That's not something I'm prepared to tolerate."
Plans for new Bush statue to replace Saddam ruin in Baghdad
25 Apr 2004Secret US plan to turn Iraq over to Halliburton uncovered
20 Apr 2004Saddam Hussein promises Iraq truce in return for release
15 Apr 2004Pentagon hires Comical Ali to head Iraq PR
9 Apr 2004US to withdraw from Iraq, start again
8 Apr 2004